fallen thoughts

I.

People are weird. Honestly, everything is. But that's what makes life beautiful, right? Just like what Seth said on the movie City of Angels, "Weird is fine." It's a mix of both excitement and skepticism. But still, it will always draw you in. Like a quicksand. The more you move into it, the faster it makes you sink. Or like a riptide. And how it results to the return flow of waves and wind-driven water. But the thing is, I never learned how to swim.

Water is not exactly my friend. Heights too, doesn't get along with me too well. Both things so common in life that I wasn't able to prepare myself for. In all of my existence, I don't think I will be able to make myself embrace it. Sinking under the water and falling from up high looks the same to me - deep. Combine it together comes my fear; of sinking in too deep, of falling in too deep.

Either of the situation results to the only action I know of when it comes to my fear. Escape. Distance. Though there are times that the adrenaline takes over my actions and dare me to do some things I'm terrified of. However, this doesn't happen frequently. Maybe twice every year? A lot of times if my stupidness counts. But hey, at least I dare, right?

A dare comes with courage. Unfortunately, one of the things I badly lack of. How can I get so unlucky? That's why my life is full of regrets. Of what ifs. And of wishing I can turn back the time. We all do wish for that sometimes. Except for me I do it a lot. But this time I won't. Because turning back time scares me, too. One action, one decision, one word...and everything could go wrong. So, let's just stay at this moment. Along with some of our regrets and unspoken words. Who knows, maybe one day we'll get to voice it out.

Action and words could be a puzzle. But every puzzle piece gets build if we choose to put it together.

The moon looks beautiful tonight, but at the same time, the sunset is beautiful too, isn't it?