the glorious situation of oblivion

she wanted this

i remember a long time ago back when we were 13. she was obsessed with dieing young. she wanted to stay beautiful forever. she would make jokes about how many times she tried to die. i never found itggggg funny. ever. she was just so... weird about all of it. her brother logan was actually worried. her dad told her it wasnt funny. but keep on she did. aroung her 14th birthday, she realized that ing two years she would get a car. and that was the end of her phase. 

she allways took things kinda extreme when she got interesed. like she would curt out all the cars she wanted. she had zillions of pictures of josh hutcherson(which her dad didnt care for) she was just stuck. 

did she kill herself? why would she. she probly did somthing horrable to herself. but i just coulnt get over why. why would she want this. we were supposed to go to college together in two years. we were going to travel to italy. we were gonna have a double wedding and our kid s would be bestfriends and we would stay bestfriends together. what was to happen now? who would be her bff? did she even want one. 

i fiddled with my ring and looked up at jared, maddies dad. he was making is speech. behind him was maddies closed casket. thay said the damage to her face was too much for children. i wanted to see her. but then at the same time i didnt. i was mad at her. she killed herself. i just dont understand why. it made me fell like somthing was wrong with me. like i did somthing. 

jared stepped down and hugged his wife ma-lynn. she had a tissue in her hand. i noticed she has chin length hair now. logan was next to her blankly staring into the oblivion. they were all a broken family. i turned and sttod. i looked over to where the hallway was. i needed to use the bathroom. 

" ill be back>" i said to my mom. she nodded and i walked past her. when i turnd back over to the hallway i saw somthing. somthing brown. hair maby. i did a mini-run to the hallway but no one was there. there was just a creak of the exit door closing.