this is how we fall || kim sunwoo

seven

One thing becomes painfully clear after that—you could not be seeing Sunwoo ever again. Not even for one last party date.

On the surface, you knew that your job was done. You’d shown him all of the moments that are supposed to happen in his future, and you’d upheld your end of the deal. But the truth was that every time you saw him, it became a little more difficult to remember that you’re not the lover from the reading. And every time you talked to him, you found yourself wanting more and more to be that person.

Your plan to avoid him doesn’t go as expected though, for he keeps texting you. He sounds normal, continuing to send memes and share posts like he’d been doing for the past while. And when he asks you for a movie date the following weekend, he acts as if the past three meetups were exactly that—dates. It’s like it never occurred to him that you were there only to show him how everything happens, and not to actually date him. Though now, you’re no longer sure if that’s true.

So you say you’re busy, you limit your texts to once per day, and you don’t pick up when he calls. You follow the textbook formula for ghosting for days to the point where Hyunjae hides your buzzing phone under the couch cushion while spewing threats about throwing it out the window, and even Sangyeon’s telling you to just call Sunwoo back.

And yet, a while later, you find yourself sitting at a cafe with Sunwoo across from you.

“Hey, thanks for agreeing to meet with me. This won’t take long.” There is no smile on his face this time, and you realize that it might really be the first time seeing him like this—eyes devoid of emotion, his face a neutral mask.

You nod slightly in acknowledgement, trying to hide the way your heart sinks at his words. They’re something you should be relieved to hear, but you know you’re still clinging onto the inkling of hope that you can go back to pretending the two of you mean something to each other.

“Have you been doing okay?”

“Just busy,” you repeat the same kind of boring answers from your texts. “You?”

“Yeah,” Sunwoo says slowly, dragging out the word. Then he takes a deep breath. “Are you avoiding me?”

Yes. “I didn’t really see any reason we should stay in touch.” A partial lie. It barely makes it out of your mouth.

“Are you for real? Y/N, where is this coming from?”

“I did what I said I’d do.” The mask on your face was threatening to crack, especially after seeing the flash of pain in his eyes. “I showed you all of the scenes I saw in the reading. What more is there?”

“I—well, yeah,” he frowns. “That might be what we initially agreed, but you can’t deny that we had something special. There’s no way you didn’t feel anything when we were together.”

You merely shrug, trying your best to harden your eyes instead of giving in to the tears that threaten to spill. Because how can you tell him the truth? How can you give Sunwoo hope just to crush it with the reality of your doomed fate?

“So—so what, all of it was just pretend? The things you said—you lied, didn’t you? When you said I’m not hard to love…” he looks away, biting his lip. “I should’ve known.”

“Hey, no. Everything I said was true, but this has nothing to do with that.”

“Did you even want to do this at all? Or did you hate every moment of it?”

“Sunwoo, stop. Okay, you’re right. Let’s say I did feel something and that I do like you. But does any of it matter? You’re forgetting that I’m not the one in your future. You might not believe in this stuff, but my readings have never been wrong before.” It’s hard enough hiding it, and you can’t do it anymore. Now everything comes tumbling out all at once when he looks so broken. “You’re going to meet them someday, and you’re going to love them. Whoever they are. It just won’t be me.”

His jaw goes slack, mouth opening but nothing coming out. As if finally realizing the truth that both of you had forgotten along the way.

“Oh and also,” this last part is yet another difficult lie that you have to clench your fists to tell, “you don’t have to hold your end of the agreement. I’m not going to the party anymore.”

You know that what you said would definitely change things—people tend to be averse to anything that goes against what they believe to be their fate. You also know that Sunwoo won’t chase after you when you leave.

You’re right.