I'll Show You

Awakening

We walk together,  her pristine Air Force One's clomping against the concrete ground that is no doubt radiating heat right now. My dusty pink running shoes, which I got to satisfy my overbearing mother, are quiet compared to hers. That's who I can be. Quiet. Unseen. Until someone comes along and pushes me, forcing me to catch myself and click out of my emo phases. 

The stupid white tennis shoes that she wears annoy me, so I break the silence by inquiring,"How are you doing today?" 

She replies by going on a tangent about how stupid it is that we were forced to go on a nature walk together on one of the last days of school instead of doing something indoors, where the air conditioner is blasting straight down our shirts from the vents up on the ceiling, and there aren't any mosquitoes trying to suck our blood. Oh, and also because then she can finally drop off her backpack. 

I laughed, because it was funny, and I was way too hot to actually ponder on any of life's biggest questions right now. I offered to carry her backpack for her, not thinking anything of it, and she accepts. We can see the school now, with its red bricked buildings and familiar school emblem on the top of every entrance. As we walk through the gatehouse, she asks, "Are you queer?" 

I have never been asked this question before. I loved barbies and pink when I was little! Well, I used to take their clothes off, but that's not because I am gay. So I replied, asking her, "what about you?"

She answered in such a confident voice, telling me that she is bisexual, because "girls are attractive". That gave me the strength to tell her that I could also be, and I quote, "not as straight as everyone seems to think I am". 

She laughed and took her backpack from my shoulder, dragging me into our school building. 

The first time I ever questioned my sexuality was the first time I came out, too. How strange.