To Promise a Champion

Shards of a Broken Heart

Anthurium POV:

I've been avoiding Itos since that day. I think he wants me to avoid him. After all, I refused to acknowledge something we both know is true, and I hurt him because of it. If I were him, I wouldn't want to see me either.

All he asked me to do was say yes. I could've told him that I loved him too. I could've ran to him, wrapped him up in my arms, and whisper to him that it was always him, even before either one of us knew it. But I didn't, I let him keep thinking that it's one sided. That I didn't encourage him on purpose.

That I'm not as much of a coward as I really am. But I am a coward. I know that it's his turn to go soon. And I can't- I won't gain him, truly be with him, just to have that taken away from me, from us. So, I'll remain a coward, I'll tell him I don't love him to keep myself safe when he can't be. I can keep my distance to protect our hearts.

Or at least that was the plan. However, that was before Unia came to visit me today.

"He's failing now." Unia say is a harsh voice, full of blame, like she knows something happened between us.

"I've heard," I start, making sure my voice is impassive, "I had to tell him I don't love him, there was nothing else to do."

"That is not your call to make Anthurium. He's a chosen one, our most powerful one, might I add. We keep them happy, even if that means we lie. So," They continue standing up. "I expect you to do whatever you need to, go as far as needed to keep him happy, and make sure this doesn't happen again."

Unia walks over to where I'm sitting, standing next to me. And they lean down to my ear.

"I expect you know the consequences if you fail. I trust that you'll do the right thing Anthurium and I expect to see results of such by next week."

I hear the loud thump of their shoes as Unia leaves my room, and then the section. My head instantly falls to my hands, my emotionless façade falling almost immediately.

I hadn't wanted to protect us both, by not letting us get involved, and as it turns out, that 'protection' would be the reason we both get hurt.

I truly realize this when I'm sitting outside of Itos' door the next night.

"Please Itos, just let me in, we need- I need to talk to you."

Silence. That was his response, and the same response I had been receiving all night.

"I know I deserve this." I sighed, leaning my head against the door. "I know that if I were you I wouldn't open the door.I know that you don't want to talk to me. But if you won't talk please just listen. I don't want to say this through the door."

I paused for a second, hoping more than expecting a reply. When none came I continued, this time in a lower voice than before.

"I miss you, Itos. I know that I have no right to say that to you, and I know it's only been a few days, but I miss you so much. I really wish I could see your face when I say this, I wish I could look into your eyes, but I know what you feel Itos."

I took a stabling breath, still hesitant, if not scared to say it, even if I was only saying it because of Unia.

"I feel it too, Itos. I'll stay out here until you're ready to talk. As long as it takes." Even I could hear how clear the desperation in my voice was coming through.

"Just, talk to me Itos, please, talk to me."

I don't know how long I sat there, waiting for Itos to open the door, or waiting for him to at least speak to me through the door. But it never came, I did say as long as it takes, so I sat there all night. Eventually drifting off.

When I finally woke up the next morning I had been pushed to the side, no longer in front of Itos' door. And the present I had picked out for him, a book of classic literature from Ruryn that he loves so much, had been kicked to the other side of the hallway. It was still unopened but thanks to whatever torment it had received while I was asleep the wrapping paper was now ripped.

It was obvious what had happened. Due to the separation, put in place by the council, no one could enter Itos room like that. No one but Itos, meaning he pushed me aside himself. I felt a pang, an ache in my chest. A feeling that has become much more common because of Itos.

I heard the door open next to me and scrambled to stand up. As Itos walked out I attempted to talk to him, to catch his eye, anything to prove that Itos hadn't completely discarded my existence. But nothing, Itos walked straight past me, not even bothering to glace in my direction.

At this point, in this moment, I don't know what hurts me more. That there is practically nothing left of our relationship anymore, or the fact that I know that it's my fault.