이무기의 복 (Mourning Bride)

9. A Bed of Hay

Despite spring blessing the people of Hanyang with its warm rays of the sun and bringing glee to the people leaving their houses more because of the rising temperatures, San felt as if the world was becoming darker. He heard the joy of animals and humans alike as the more pleasant time of the year filled them with adoration for each other and they were drawn into groups to share laughter and fun. San listened to them with his chin propped on the windowsill to his room.

Seonghwa had forbidden him from going out once more. Trapped inside his room with the speech he had to write and other writing practise forgotten in heaps on his floor, San looked outside with yearning. He wished for the proximity of someone he could consider a friend. He saw Hongjoong rarely because of his tasks, and the other people San met also interested themselves most in his role at the court and his might as a dragon. Whenever he greeted an advisor in the corridors, San got asked about the ritual, about his speech, about his progress in integrating himself into their community.

San was lonely. He had Seonghwa to talk to, and Hongjoong on the occasional instances they passed paths with each other, but while San enjoyed both of their personalities, he found himself not satisfied. He had nobody who tended to his needs outside of being their magnificent dragon ruler. All questions were polite and out of obligation, but San felt none of them offered him to open his heart.

Yeosang asked him every morning how he had slept. Yunho informed him it was a beautiful day out when San considered taking a stroll through the gardens.

Yet, despite all the people swarming the palace, San felt trapped and restricted by those walls. They harboured only those who had a purpose here. Genuine friendships naturally formed didn't seem to exist here.

Sulking at the window, San listened to the happy chase of two rabbits outside of the city walls and to the shrieks of jubilant children in the city.

Dragons were used to solitude, but as with most fledglings, loneliness depressed San's spirits. He had dreamt the night prior of being back home and with his people, where everyone shared their deepest and most private thoughts.

When he couldn't take his boredom anymore, San picked up his chin. He inclined his head, listening to the space outside his door. A moment later, he snuck over on subtle soles to peer outside.

No one was in sight. Yeosang must be busy with dinner preparations, and Yunho probably patrolled outside since guarding San's door wasn't needed. If San found the perfect moment, he might slip away.

San peered out of the windows in his dressing room to check the other side of the building. Like an assassin on his mission, he crept over the wooden floors without making a sound.

From this window, he saw Seonghwa and Hongjoong. The two crossed over from the building for rituals to the main palace grounds. Hongjoong fanned himself again and San was surprised to see how different his smile behind the fan was. Even from the distance, it looked sly. He was much more expressive today, and Seonghwa had lowered his head to chuckle towards the ground.

Intrigued at seeing them outside of their usual roles as they followed their duties, San shifted the window back shut. Neither of them would come to search for him soon.

San slithered out of the building once he was sure Yunho was on the other side. He dipped behind the adjoining house to gain some distance and leaned against the wall with his heart racing. He did nothing illegal, but he feared Seonghwa's wrath if he were caught. After having been so close to him, San was timid around the man more than Hongjoong.

Would Hongjoong be mad if he found out San broke the rules? Perhaps it wouldn't bother him. He had enough trivialities to be concerned about already.