My head is bouncing. Not even just a little, it's
fucking agony.
My whole body is aching. My neck cracks as I sit
up, one eye open, searching my surroundings.
Rosé is lying next to me, mascara down her
face, giving her the drunken panda look. I probably
resemble a homeless person, and I smell like one
too.
Groaning, I push up from the hotel bed, rubbing
my head as I fumble for the lamp, covering my eyes
as the brightness nearly blinds me. "Shit," I say to
myself, being careful not to wake my best friend
while I try to liven up, showering, eating snacks
that I find in my coat pocket, and waiting for my
phone to charge.
Hugging my knees to my chest, I balance myself on
the stool, watching my screen light up. I nearly
choke on my cookie when I see it's already midday.
Having the blinds down made me think it was still
early, blackening the room.
I've not looked at any paperwork, no plans,
nothing. I was going to use this day to arrange
everything for Leo and instead, I'm hungover,
experiencing my moody week, and having a major
cringe-worthy time reliving last night.
Who the hell flirts with their assistant within two
days of knowing her? Irene fucking Jennie, that's
who. And guess who pied me off when I
suggestively offered myself up? Fucking Lisa.
I should book a flight back to New Zealand right now, hide from her, eliminate the impending
embarrassment. Or, I could ask for another
assistant? But then, I'll just make things awkward
at work.
I mean, the girl laughed at my offer, told me to
drink some water and that she would see me at work
on Monday.
I remember the sick feeling I had as she and her
friend left the club, minutes after my ridiculous
flirting. Rosé scolded me for scaring them
away and told me to sober up.
So you can imagine how my morning.... well,
afternoon is going, fucking splendid indeed. Just
to make matters worse, I notice I've sent Lisa a
chain of rather angry messages throughout the
night, five AM being the last one where I've called
her a hooha tease.
What the hell, Irene ?
Her only reply was an hour ago, asking me what a
hooha is,
"You idiot." I slap my forehead and bang my head
down on the table full of leftover burritos and pizza
from last night. "Idiot. Idiot. Idiot." I bounce my
head off the wood with each word, waking my
lovely friend.
"Irene, I love you," she croaks, holding the side of
her head, hair sticking up from her hairspray."But if you don't stop that, I might kill you."
I sigh, my body shaking with alcohol induce
hangover tremors, my forehead still against the
polished wood. "I'm an idiot."
"Yeah, I got that. What did you do?"
Ahh, she was practically Bambi last night trying to
walk home, she probably doesn't remember dry
humping Lisa's friend, telling everyone she feels
hung.
I sit up and throw my phone to her, making it land
on the covers in front of her. I watch as her eyes go
side to side, reading my threats to have her fired,
offering him sex, a blowjob, and the best one was
that I'd let her take me into the broom cupboard.
She chuckles, trying to hold in a belly laugh and
snorting through her nose."WoW," she says, taking
her glasses from the nightstand and shoving them
on. "You should probably apologise. Why did you
flip at her, I thought you said she was hot?"
She is hot. But apparently, drunken Irene wants her
either between her legs, shagging her in a cupboard
full of brooms, or to kill her.
"I thought she was flirting." I shrug, playing my
embarrassment down. "I was wrong."
"Okay, well..." She lifts my phone again and starts
tapping her fingers on the screen. I bounce off the
stool and jump on top of her, trying to grab my phone out of her hands."..done." She drops the
phone next to her and smiles wickedly. "You can
thank me later, I need to shower and sort the
paperwork out." She pushes off the bed while I
scowl at her and she vanishes into the bathroom.
Looking down at the screen, I mentally plan her
death.
Me: Sorry about last night, Lisaya, I'll make it up
to you xxxxx
Make it up to you?
Lisaya?
Does she want me to go to the bathroom and
strangle her with the shower cord? Because I will.
I jump with a shriek and drop my phone on the bed
when it dings, closing my eyes and doing my best to
swallow the lump in my throat, threatening to
suffocate me.
Lisa: K
K?
I'm leaving this goddamn hot, humid, crazy fucking
country. How do I face her?How can I sit in the
same room as her for hours, days, possibly weeks?
"Irene, can you give me a fresh towel in from the pile
next to the bed?"
I might actually smother her with it too.
"Yeah," I reply, huffing as I throw it at her."Thanks by the way, she hates me even more now."I lift my phone to show her, her reply and she raises her brows.
"Maybe she's playing hard to get?" She suggests, and
I give her a dirty look, shaking my head as I leave
the steamy bathroom, the heat making me feel even
sicker than the rifts of vodka and fresh orange.
"Or maybe, she just isn't interested. Can we go get
food now?"
My phone dings again, the screen lighting up on
the unit. I hesitate, but lift it to see another
message from Lisa.... the prick.
Lisa: Just so you know, there are no broom
cupboards in the hospital. But I shall let you know
if I ever come across one, maybe you could entice
another assistant to fuck you in your place of
work?
"Rosé switch assistants with me."
