>> "you know when you're drowning, you don't actually inhale until right before you black out"
"and why is that?"
>> "the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding"
>> "then when you finally let it in, that's when it stops hurting"
"mmm, and how are you doing, kovirian?"
>> "i'm fine"
"are you?"
>> "yeah, aside from the not sleeping. the jumpiness"
>> "the constant overwhelming crushing fear that something terrible is about to happen."
"it's called hypervigilance."
"the persistent feeling of being under threat."
>> "it's not just a feeling though.. it's.."
>> "It's like it's a panic attack."
>> "you know.. like I can't even breathe."
"like you're drowning?"
>> "yeah."
"so... if you're drowning.. and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment."
"what if you choose not to open your mouth?"
"to not let the water in."
>> "you do anyway. it's a reflex."
"but.. if you hold off.. until that reflex kicks in.."
"you'd have more time, right?"
>> "not much time."
"but more time to fight your way to the surface."
>> "i guess."
"more time to be rescued."
>> "more time to be in agonizing pain."
>> "did you forget about the part where you feel like your head's exploding?"
"if it's about survival.."
"isn't a little agony worth it?"
>> "what if it just gets worse?"
>> "what if it's agony now and then.."
>> "then it's just hell later on?"
"think about something that Winston Churchill once said."
"if you're going through hell.."
"keep going."
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The Quad // The Witcher
FanfictionKorivian Lycan, the daughter of Geralt of Rivia. A natural born witcher, something seemingly impossible. >> I can beat you with both hands tied behind my back<<