Death reap

Death reap 2.

2. The organisation of Death

He just appeared next to me out of thin air scaring the shit out of me and I’m dead!! He kept staring at me over his glasses, looking at me like everything I did was funny as hell. His black hair was rustled, like he just got up and ran his hand through his hair.

His eyes were dark and stood to startling contrast to his pail pail skin. One of his hand was propped under his chin and the other on his knee. His clothes looked like they just came out of the dirty hamper and didn’t fit him, the t-shirt was too small and the jeans too big but with all that clothes I could see he was very slim. In conclusion he looked very, very girly...and there was something wrong with him.

His whole body looked like there was a fog around him making him look strange, and it made my head hurt.

‘’So...um...I should probably start at the beginning. Do you know who you are?’’

I just looked at him as if he was nuts.

‘’Do you know where you are?’’

‘’I’m in the fucking morgue locked in cold crate, yea, I know where I am.’’

Now it was his turn to look at me like I was nuts.

‘’So you know who you are?’’

I nodded.

‘’You know where you are?’’

I nodded again.

‘’And you know you’re.....’’

‘’Dead like my dog Daisy, yes I know.’’

He breathed out and relaxed stretching his legs in front of him making one of the nurses pass right thru them.

‘’Well that makes my job alot easier! I’m sure you’ve got a lot of questions so fire away!’’

‘’Are you a chick?’’

He started laughing and patting me on my back.

‘’What’s wrong with your face?’’

He got serious really fast.

‘’My face?’’

‘’Yea it looks like it’s in a fog?’’

‘’You see that?!!!’’

He was on his feet in a second looking down at me.

‘’Um..yea.’’

Nervous laughter left him as he pulled me up on my feet.

‘’Well my name is Johannus but you can call me John and I am your guide thru the wonderful wonderful world of the afterlife. Our usual tour starts with our journey down, up or whatever the direction it goes and then you go in front of the judge with his funny white wig but you my friend need a special treatment, a treatment that I once got.’’

‘’I’m gonna look like a chick too?!’’

He laughed clutching his stomach.

‘’No, well I don’t thinks so...Ow it’s just special!’’

‘’Special? What do you mean special?’’

‘’Well, not everybody gets to see Sandy. The last guy that qualified to get a meeting with him was.......a long time ago.’’

We walked towards the elevator and all along John was humming until the door opened, but it wasn’t the hospital elevator. It was way bigger and it could have fit 20 people in it. The wood looked bright new but it felt old, but the silver panel which held the buttons wasn’t. There were only two buttons on it, one had the letter H on it and the other had up arrow.

‘’Why the H?’’

‘’Oh, it stands for Human world.’’

He pressed the up button and we took up. My stomach did a flip as soared in a terrifying speed upwards where we stopped and my hair stopped flying around me. John just smiled at me as it was perfectly normal.

I thought it was over when it went left in a straight life. It went up and down in the normal world, but this wasn’t my normal world anymore. It stopped and I was surprised my feet were still firmly planted on the tile floor. The door opened and we walked out, John first and me following close behind.

‘’These are the offices of Relocation and Reincarnation corporation where ‘Your soul is our Treasure’. Basically you come here to tell your life story and then get sent to the right department.’’

‘’Department?’’

‘’Well it all depends on your life story, if you’ve been morally correct, like helped old people across the street and volunteered in animals shelters and what not, you go to Libertas where you can pick your happily ever after, on the contrary you’re deprived of all of your choices, for example you have to ask for permission when you want to take a piss. You usually don’t get it. There are many types of good and evil we have to differentiate. All of those fit in to the moral grey zone in other words their lives were vanilla, plain. There are those who’ve done good their whole life so they go to Paradiso a.k.a. heaven or their complete opposites, -the one that did evil their whole life-, they are dealt with immediately and go to Inferno. (spooky sounds) We do not pass judgment on them, they don’t have the right to choose.’’

I nodded at that sucking all the information, trying to remember everything.

‘’So where am I going?’’

‘’You? You are the gold in the gray area.’’

Now I was really confused.

We were walking through a big hallway with different offices on each side. It wasn’t very original, it looked like one of those small, poor lawyer companies that tried too look bigger then they are by renting big office spaces and filling it with cheap paintings and fake plants that just looked depressing. For know, death hasn’t left a very good impression on me. A small woman that looked like a perfectly maintained thirty year old but with eyes looking old, filled with knowledge, came towards us with a frown on her face.

‘’John-John, making trouble again?’’

She pursed her lips and looked at him like a mother scolding a child, it was quite funny.

‘’No Lory, I’m accompanying C.C. here to Sandy!’’

‘’Sandy, hmmmm?’’

She stared at me for the longest time and then she smiled.

‘’Yes, I believe he will be the one!’’

‘’The one?’’

She spun around to look at the clock.

‘’You are already late!! Go, go, go!!’’

She ushered us towards another elevator.

My stomach dropped.