You are an asshole, Trashmouth... but I love you (I love you too, Eds)

Eddie's letter

A.N: I don't know why I can't use the crossed out option but that's what the bold is supposed to be, okay?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Richie,

Dear Trashmouth,

Hi Rich, I just wanted to

Richie, maybe I won't ever send this but

Hi asshole,

Okay, Bev told me it would be a good for me to "write down your feelings down in paper to get them off your chest, even if you never send it to him, Eddie", so that's what I'm going to do.

Okay. Sometimes I hate every single stupid word you say. Sometimes, all your teasing and jokes make me wanna slap you in your whole face. I've never met any other person with such a trashmouth and a personality to match it with. There's no one quite like you, you are one of a kind, thankfully cause I think I would just combust if they were more of you. You push all my buttons down, make me wanna fight with you for hours. Which, I admit, is MUCH BETTER than staying at home, sometimes. In all honestly, I know life would such without you.

Well, I'm not going to show you this so why not write the whole truth. Yeah, you make me so angry but, at the same time, I wanna hug you; I wanna wrap my hands around your neck even if I have to stand on my tip toes to do it because you are a fucking tree. Ugh, you would so tease me if I did it; you're an asshole, but I love you. And I mean it, well, not just in the way I love the rest of the Losers.... I'm in love with you, which is crazy because you know you tend to make me so mad, I end up questioning my own sanity out loud, you have heard me many times asking myself why I'm still here. But, well, deep inside I know I don't have anywhere else I could go. I don't have a life apart from the Losers, at least not a happy and free one. YOU, as much of an asshole as you are, are the only love I've ever known.

Even though I hate you, I really hate you so much, you and your stupid voices and "your mum" jokes.... UGH!! I think that's the worst part, how your stupid control over my emotions was what made me think that it must be true love. Nobody else has ever made me feel like that, as cheesy as I know it sounds, and nothing else can break my heart like seeing you flirting with someone that isn't me, even if I act like you calling me "Eds" is the worst offense possible. It must be true love.

Seriously, though, Rich, no one else can break my heart like you. You tend not to think before you opened that trashmouth of yours and you act impulsively WAY too much (I'm honestly surprised you aren't dead with how many health rules you seem to ignore... you REALLY shouldn't eat from the dumpster, I DON'T CARE IF "desperate times call to desperate measures, Eddie my love", I WON'T KISS YOU IF YOU- well, is not as if I would kiss you either way, you aren't gay, you have make that much clear with your talk... Just once, I wish you would try to wrap your little brain around my feelings; you usually do great when it's something I've told you to not joke about, though sometimes you do step on your feet and make me think "Just once, please try not to be so mean").

I get SO jealous sometimes of Beverly and Ben, how they eyes just shine with clear love for each other, specially after their dates... I really wish I could go on a date with you, Richie, but that won't happen because, even if this shithole of a town wasn't so fucking homophobic, you aren't into me. Bill tried to convince me that you were, by saying how "H-h-e's always p-p-paying attention to you, E-eddie" but how can I believe it when you act so obnoxiously around everyone. And even if your jokes and quips tend to be directed at me it doesn't mean you like me. If you did, then why would you be so fucking grotesque all the times?!?! Like, really, sometimes I just want to scream at you "Repeat after me now R-O-M-A-N-C-E-E-E!!! Come on, I'll say it slowly, Romance; You can do it, babe!" like you are a fucking infant cause I'm SO OBVIOUS with my feelings: I wear the red shorts only when I know you will be there so you comment on them, I let you sleep in my bed when you come over AND I let you get into the hammock with me instead of throwing you out after your 10 minutes!!!.

If you haven't got the idea, I fucking love you, Trashmouth. Before I figure my feelings out, I used to lay awake in bed for hours wondering why do you rub me up the wrong way? why do you say the things that you say? Sometimes I even went as far as going all poetic and thinking how we ever came to be? and that without you, I'm incomplete.

Anyways, is not as I'm ever going to show you this, so I don't have to worry about embarrassing myself so much...though I really should burn it in case mom sees this and goes feral on me...

Forever yours (as cursi as that fucking sounds),

Eddie