Never Underestimate Destiny

Part 14

Finally Zan couldn't stand it any longer. "I'm sorry," he burst out.

Liz's head jerked up and Max looked at him confused.

Zan knew now that he should have just told Max in the first place but he wanted to spare Liz's feelings, and by keeping his mouth shut he'd just made things worse. He spoke softly, holding Liz's gaze. "I'm so sorry, Liz," he said.

He turned his gaze to Max. "I can't stop thinking about her, man. I'm so in love with her that I don't know what I'm doing half the time. She came over last night, upset and needing a friend and I kissed her."

Max didn't feel the rush of jealously he expected. He only felt sadness and sympathy. He had loved Liz without hope for months and he realized that Zan was feeling exactly the same. They both loved her and it was one more similarity between them, one more thing that connected them.

Smiling sadly Max nodded. "I know how you feel."

Liz's eyes brimmed with tears as she looked at Zan. She opened her mouth to speak but he shook his head.

"You don't have to say anything, Liz," he said. "You went running out of here last night before I could tell you. I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I hope you can forgive me someday."

Liz felt even more miserable. She had wanted Zan, and she'd kissed him back, but he was taking all the blame for it again. She needed to talk to him but she couldn't in front of Max, and she didn't know what to say anyway. She was the one who was out of control wanting two different men.

"I'm sorry, Zan," she said simply.

There was an awkward silence for a moment as no one knew what to say.

Max glanced at his watch. "I've got to get going," he said apologetically. "I have to go to work."

He started toward the door, but Liz hesitated. "It's close to my training time," she said. "If Zan wouldn't mind taking me home afterward, I could just stay."

Zan felt a rush of relief. Liz trusted him enough to be alone with him. "Sure," he said, trying not to sound too eager.

Max nodded, looking from Zan to Liz. "I'll call you later," he told her.

"Okay," she agreed.

Liz and Zan stood silent until Max's Jeep pulled out of the driveway, and then both spoke at once. "I'm sorry."

Holding up her hand, Liz cut Zan off. "No, let me talk," she said.

He nodded and she continued. "Thank you, Zan, for not telling Max the whole truth about last night. It would hurt him so much. He is the love of my life, but I feel totally out of control when..." She looked down trailing off.

Zan stepped closer to her, cupping her cheek, lifting her head so she had to look at him. "When you are around me," he finished.

Her first instinct was to deny it but she couldn't lie to him. "Zan" she said, covering his hand on her cheek with hers, "it doesn't matter what I feel for you, we can't be together."

"You're wrong," Zan said. "What we feel for each other does matter." He stroked her cheek. "I love you, I want you, and I can feel the desire in you right now."

"But Max," Liz said desperately.

"I know," Zan agreed. "I don't want to hurt him either, or you, and I'm trying to fight my feelings for you, but it makes it so much harder knowing you want me too."

Liz nodded and he continued. "I just hope you can forgive me for being weak last night," he said. "I'll do my best to not let it happen again."

She smiled nervously. "I trust you, Zan," she assured him. She just didn't know if she trusted herself.