Shreya is a normal girl with a seemingly normal life. Anyone from outside looking in would see a regular girl with regular teenage problems. However, sometimes what seems regular from outside may not be so in the inside.
And that is the truth.
Shrey...
{Why am I like this? Why can't I just control my sensitive self? Why do my parents hate me so much? Don't I deserve to have any friends? Don't I deserved to be loved? Why am I such a worthless thing? WHY AM I SO WEAK? WHY WAS I EVEN BORN?}
All this questions clouded Shreya's head like a fog. She doesn't knows what she's doing in this abandoned park, which used to be her favorite place since she came here but after the announcement of the park closing due to some reason, she never stepped one foot here since then. She doesn't knows why....
But today her feet just dragged her into this dark, gloomy and lonely abandoned park which, right now, seemed like the most peaceful place on earth to her.
*finally some peace... no one to judge, no one to beat, no one to insult but me... But I can't seem to figure out how I'm going to hide from my own self, from my own screams of insecurities...from my own head*
WORTHLESS....
LOSER...
WEAK...
FREAK.....
AARRRHHH......
*there are so many cars today on the road... SHOULD I? It's not like anyone would care anyways. Gosh, I sound so SELFISH...*
[Shreya how can you be this selfish? Is this how we raised you? We're very disappointed.
YOU'RE SUCH A BURDEN TO TAKE CARE OF* screamed her head. Not knowing what to do anymore, Shreya decided to let her mind take over, she decide to surrender to these jarring and cruel words that her head muttered as a revenge to god knows what...
*Gosh, can't you even raise some decent marks? I NEVER THOUGHT MY DAUGHTER WILL BE SUCH A FAILURE...SUCH A LOSER.* muttered her dad being voiced over by her own head.]
FAILURE...
BURDEN....
(PING) (PING)
YOONGI POSTED....
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~Don't compare yourself to others.
Everything will be ok.~
{BUT WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I'M COMPARED MY WHOLE LIFE?}
*It's 10:00 p.m.* muttered Shreya to herself.
*But I don't want to go home. This lonely yet calming breeze embracing my cheeks feels so nice, I wish I didn't just have to leave...*
*Huh? What's this?*
Looking down at her hoodie pocket, she finds a pendant that she used to love as a child but now despises it. It was an intricately made glass pendant gifted by her mother when she was 5. Oh, how she used to love wearing it... but it changed. After moving to California, her mom instantly became more and more distant, no matter how much Shreya wanted to talk to her, she would always brush her off. And since then, she started hating it because no matter how much she wanted to love it but the distant and cold nature of her mother towards just didn't let her. One day, she just decided to throw the pendant somewhere but couldn't, her heart won't let her so she just decided to keep it in her pocket and since then, not once she wore it again. Shoving the pendant inside the dark and gloomy place once again, she started walking home without giving it a single glance. She's late and...
SHE KNEW, SHE SCRWED UP...
Standing in front of the familiar white building, she knew it's going to be a war just the moment she'll enter through that brown wooden door. She really did not want to enter that house. But, does she have any other option other than to come back "HOME" or sleep on the streets...
*I'm ho-*
Just as Shreya was about to finish her words, a big, hard slap landed on her soft cheeks.
*DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?*screeched her mom.
*You bunked school, didn't you?*said the father with an eerily cool demeanour that made it very clear for Shreya that he's not only angry but...HE'S PISSED.
*HOW DARE YOU? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY WE HAVE TO PAY TO YOUR PRESTIGIOUS SCHOOL SO THAT YOU CAN FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES?!*
All of this was happening, so many harsh words and cusses escaped through her mom and dad's chapped lips... But Shreya only had one question stuck inside her head...
CAN'T THEY SEE THE BRUISES?
AM I THAT MUCH OF A BURDEN FOR THEM?
*You guys would be free and happy if I just died. Wouldn't you?*
*What did you say?!?!* cried her dad at the top of his lungs.
*I SAID YOU GUYS WOULD BE FREAKING HAPPY IF I JUST DIE! YOU'LL GET RID OF A USELESS GIRL!!!*screamed Shreya not being able to control her seeping out emotions and her uncontrollable tears anymore. Her head started to hurt and throb like never before. Her tears won't stop no matter how much she tried to control them. Her body started to shake from the outburst of long suppressed emotions. She wasn't even able to feel excruciating pain caused by the constant kicking and punching. She only felt numb...sore from crying, from the pain, from all the emotions, from her outburst of emotions. She just can't take it anymore...
Suddenly, before even registering the words that left her plump, bruised lips, an another hard slap landed on her now red cheeks from all the tears that she shed in just one day.
*YES, WE'LL FINALLY BE FREE FROM SUCH A BURDEN LIKE YOU! WE NEVER EVEN WANTED YOU, A GIRL. YOU'VE ALREADY BROUGHT ENOUGH WRETCHEDNESS IN THIS HOUSE AND NOW WE'LL APPRECIATE YOU DYEING!!* shouted the owner of the house.
*THEN I PROMISE YOU, YOU'LL NEVER EVER SEE ME AGAIN! EVERRR!!!*yelled Shreya, her voice hitched and short, her body starting to gain the old pain, her vision getting blurred more and more every passing second, her whole body sweating...
That's when she ran...again...
But this time in her room, trying to hide from the reality, from her own whispering insecurities that her mind repeated over and over again...
Only if she could run away to HIM...THEM...
Filled with hatred buried by her parents, by those shitty girls...by her own insecurities forced her to take the sharp scissors out of her drawer and make long and deep slashes across her already bruised and sore skin. The cuts were much deeper than the bruises. The dark crimson liquid started to pour out from the cuts made by her own hands. She was crying and crying and...crying. But at the same time, cutting herself gave her a different kind of satisfaction which she never thought she'll enjoy this much. She liked to see the warm blood trickle down her skin. She could feel herself almost passing out but before that she remembered something...
THE PENDANT.
She quickly shoved her blood covered hands inside her pocket only to find the locket more...lonely. But without giving it a second thought, she smashed the pendant on the wall with all the might that she bore in herself. The once heart-shaped pendant shattered into a thousand pieces. The blood stained the carpet with its rich texture. The beautifully maintained room became a mess. And Shreya felt her breath getting short, head spinning, her palms sweating, her vision getting dizzier. She hated the feeling.
BUT WHY? SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED RIGHT? BUT...
DID SHE?
ONLY IF SHE COULD SEE HIM...THEM...
IF MUST BE NICE TO HOLD THEIR HANDS AND LOOK INTO THE PASSION THAT THEIR EYES HOLD IN THEM...
