I crawled under the kitchen table and balled up covering my ears from the screaming my mother and step father were causing. He came home drunk again. It was 2 a.m. when I checked the digital clock on my bedside after they awoke me with the screams.
“You always fucking do this!” I heard my mother yell as she walked into the kitchen. I don’t think she knows I’m here. My stepdad stumbled into the kitchen knocking himself into the fridge.
“I can’t ever go out and relax without coming home to you yelling at me” he slurred his words. I could only see their feet.
“I know you was with that hoe!” she screamed “just leave! I don’t want to do this anymore!” she yelled turning to face him then in a lower tone I heard her say “I’m done” before seeing her feet lift slightly off the ground.
“You’re not leaving” I heard as tears streamed down my face. What was he doing to her and why couldn’t I stop it! Why couldn’t get I gain enough courage to get up and help. What if he hurts me too?
She screeched while he groaned. Her legs move rapidly. And when I saw her drop to the floor I knew this was the end. I felt the tears pour down my cheeks and I threw my hand over my mouth as I crawled back until I hit the wall. He bent down to look at her. I stared and prayed he wouldn’t see me.
“Why’d you make me do this” I heard him cry out “what about Jen” I started to scoot out slowly from underneath the table as he wept overtop of her. I needed to get out and run. I hit the chair as I was almost out knocking it over. I stopped and turned to see him looking at me. His eyes grew big and his face shot up red.
“Honey” he said “come here” he motioned towards me but I didn’t move. He went from grief to anger very fast. What was this? He slowly got up and walked towards me. I stood frozen in place. Every footstep made my heart beat faster and faster. When he got to me he bent over and pressed his lips against my ear
“This is our little secret right?” he whispered as if someone where in the room besides my dead pale mother. I nodded scared to say no. He picked me up and brought me into the bedroom. I sat on my bed and he put his head in my lap. My hands were shaking and I was still crying.
“Don’t cry” he said sitting up and whipping my tears away with his thumb. I didn’t respond. He looked at me and smiled evilly. What where his intensions? Now that I was helpless he knew I wouldn’t run for fear he’d catch me. He pressed his lips down on my neck. I wanted to scream but knew I couldn’t. No one come due to the fact the yelling has been frequent for the past few months now. He slid his hand down chest. I began to cry more, I knew what he was about to do to me. I’ve read about this in books and watched it in movies. I was only 10. How could someone do this? I asked myself as he grabbed the tiny hump on my chest.
“Stop” I pleaded. But he wouldn’t. “Please” I sobbed. I repeatedly said those two words which only made him grow angry.
“Shut the fuck up” he said standing in front of me and pushing me back onto the bed forcefully.
He had his way with me that night. I screamed and screamed but no one came to my rescue. I laid there in my blood disgusted after he got off of me.
