the story of how Dorothea died

dorothea dies

on a dark spring afternoon, dorothea died. but ill tell you how 😹 she owned 6 cats and they all had powers and crap idk. like they all could fly. and dorothea didnt like the fact that her cats could fly. so she came up with an idea to kill her cats, but not in a mean way. so on another dark spring afternoon dorothea stabbed remi the rabid rat shit addict with a nail filer. remi the rabid rat shit addict died that same dark spring afternoon. then, dorothea wacked eleanor the bleach eater with her elbow as the cat was drinking bleach. dorothea was very sad that her cats died. even if she was like the one who did it. another dark spring afternoon dorothea strangled jesse, just jesse. no interesting name, but jesse was no ordinary cat. he was special, jesse liked to bite chanel, the other cat. one day he bit her ear off and chanel was in the hospital for 8 months!! anyways, dorothea strangled jesse. then, one bright spring afternoon (notice how i changed it) dorothea decided to walk up the stairs, as she was walking up the stairs. chanel the best cat pushed her down as she was walking up with her super flying shit! oh no!!!! but no, sadly, dorothea didnt die. she walked back up with a crane and wacked chanel the flesh eater across the room with a hanger. chanel the flesh eating cat (the best cat) died. the last two cats noticed their buds dying from queen dorothea, so they decided to come up with a plan while using their super cool powers to kill her bc this is totally a fantasy story!1!! anyways when dorothea got home one bright summer day, she came in and took her jacket off (idk why shes wearing a jacket in the summer so dont ask you bitch) as she took her jacket off, one of the super cool cats named oli came in and bit her ankle, while lucas the other super cool cat came in and jumped on her back. at this point dorothea was on the ground sobbing in pain like the rat she is, but all of a sudden stupid little lucas decided to back out of the plan even though shes like an 80 year old serial killer. she backed away, and oli noticed. oli got angry and shoved his paw in dorotheas throat and pulled out her organs. dorothea didnt die though bc shes just like super cool, and dorothea decided to make oli suffer. she gave him a MULLET HAIR CUT............. oh my god!!!!!!!!! but for some reason bc oli is just sick and twisted and deserves to die like the little hobo he is, he liked the mullet. the cat took some photos with the mullet, dorothea was so scared that she just broke all of oli's limbs. as for lucas, she never found that ugly old cat. but lucas the serial killer got it the worst. lucas was limping across the street (bc every old cat limps) when she got hit by a car. who was driving that car?????????????? chanel the dead flesh eating cat bc shes like the best at driving, with all of the other dead cats in the back seat (i dont have time to list their long names) then lucas died and just stayed dead. and if you thought this story was centered around dorothea dying bc i said it abt 102938 times in the title and bio, you were wrong. very wrong. obviously dorothea died bc shes like a boring human unlike the other cats (not including lucas the old bitch) she died when she was 80 in a hospital bed. the end. also this story took place in a villiage bc its cottage core or whatever its called