Dirty Laundry [N.H.]

Hole in One Pt. III

It's been two weeks since I've heard from Niall, and with each passing day my heart breaks a little more.

It doesn't help that my parents are away visiting my mom's sister in Canada, leaving me home alone to wallow in self-pity and sadness. But at least work has kept my mind busy these past couple of weeks. I picked up extra shifts to keep me distracted but that only lasts until I come home to an empty house with an even emptier heart.

I know it's stupid. How can I already be attached to someone who I hardly even know? But there was something about Niall – the way we just got along right away that had me thinking what happened between us could have been something more than just some meaningless fling.

I definitely miss him more than I let on. I miss the way he was able to make me laugh, his humour, and the way 'babe' just seemed to roll off his tongue so effortlessly. I thought multiple times about giving him a quick call while he was in Australia but decided against it every time.

He said he would be the one to call so I left the cards in his hand. I didn't think he'd fold.

I didn't want to seem clingy and annoying, potentially taking away time from his little vacation with Daisy. I knew how busy he probably was on normal days, it was only fair to let him enjoy the few days he had off. That didn't mean I didn't check my phone for a simple text from him on occasion.

I should have learned by the third day that I was going to be disappointed in the end and now two weeks have gone by with absolutely nothing from Niall. I'm hoping that he's back from his trip by now, but of course I still have no confirmation having heard nothing from him yet.

It's Saturday night now which leaves me feeling more alone considering I have nothing to keep me busy. My parents were supposed to come home today but we got hit with a massive thunderstorm, putting their travel plans on hold. I wish they were here though because being home alone during a violent thunderstorm like the one raging outside is slightly terrifying.

The lights keep flickering and the howling wind only seems to get louder as the night progresses. The rain pelts against the windows and it doesn't seem to be letting up anytime soon. Every little sound puts me on edge and I hate it.

I'm curled up on the couch, my fuzzy pink blanket wrapped around my body for comfort as I attempt to read some dirty medieval romance book my friend Nicole lent me at work. My candle flickers on the table as I attempt to immerse myself into a world of noble knights and fair maidens, hoping their whirlwind romance turns out better than mine.

I refuse to let the tears fall though. I refuse to cry over someone who has obviously forgotten about me. He's not worth the tears. That's the only way to make the pain in my heart seem a little lighter.

As a flash of lightning lights up my living room I can't help but to think about him though. I wonder what he's doing right now, if he's at home or at the office or maybe he's still in Australia.

Is Daisy afraid of thunderstorms? Is she cuddled up with her dad in bed? Is he reading her bedtime stories with animated voices and gestures, trying to make her laugh and distract her from the storm?

He probably is and the thought of that makes my heart ache.

After our first date, I was left wanting so much more from him. I wanted to be a part of his life. I wanted to officially meet Daisy and make her laugh. I never wanted to intrude on his life, and if he felt like I was, I wanted him to tell me that. I thought he knew that but maybe I just read him all wrong.

Sure I've been on dates before. I know how they work and I know sometimes they don't work out at all, but that's with a reason. I remember how happy Niall was with me, he told me he liked me and I obviously liked him too. I thought we left things on a good note before he left but maybe it was just all in my head.