Shepard's Anatomy Saves Lives

How It All Ended Up

Before you know how my story starts, you should know how my mother, THE great Meredith Grey, story ended. 

Well, I was in school, finishing up my senior year of high school when I noticed my mom was acting strange. Nothing too crazy, at first. Just misplacing things, forgetting what day it was. Bailey, Ellis and I just chalked it up as mom was extremely busy. Then it became more intense. She'd call me Ellis, she'd forget what days she was suppose to be off from work, and slowly started to remember some of the memories of my dad. 

We didn't want to admit it, but we all knew what it was. We remember hearing stories about how grandma Ellis was, and mom was becoming more and more like her each day. By my second year of college she had almost forgotten everything. She could barely care for herself. I wanted to come straight home but Auntie Amelia and Maggie refused to have that happen. They said I needed to focus on school, and focus on carrying on the name. 

My whole life I figured I'd have to carry on my father's Legacy. I always heard about the surgeon he was, the person he was. How the day he died, he was actually saving someones life. Saving someones life cost him his own. That's powerful. I had always planned to be a neurosurgeon and not just because of dad, but auntie Amelia had a lot to do with that, too. I mean don't get me wrong, cardio was cool, but there's something about the brain. It controls everything, from the way we speak to the way we, well think. And I wanted to carry on that Shepard name and make him proud, I just never thought I'd have to carry on the Grey name, too.

My mom said she lived in my grandmother's shadow for so long. People would hear her last name and think "The great Ellis Grey". They'd tell her "sorry for your loss" when she died and that she'd be so proud of her. It wasn't long before the life my mother lived became the life that I lived too. When my mom died the year I graduated med school, it was like I step right into her old life. 

We were cleaning out her house...her iconic house that she grew up in, lived with her friends in, that we grew up in. In the attic was a chest that was locked. Luckily I was smart enough to guess the lock (auntie Christina's birthday) and what I found changed my life.

She had journals... each title with a different year. I thought maybe it was all medical related. Then I read the first one, and it look like it started back on the day she met dad, the day that also happened to be the first day of her intern career. I took the box of journals and carried them up to my very small, loft apartment. I opened up a bottle of wine and sat at my table and right then and there read every chapter. 

There was talks about the first day she met dad and she didn't know he was going to be working at the same hospital as her. There was stories of Lvad wires, great friends, and heartbreaks. It was like her whole life was being told to me, by her. It was like I could hear her voice in every stroke of the words she wrote on her paper. I remember when she once told me she found Grandma Ellis had journals and it lead to some of her success. She never mentioned that she had been keeping some herself, and hers were way more intimate than educational. 

I wish I would had found these when she was alive. I know it might be wishful thinking, but I think it would've helped her remember some of her memories if I could read out loud to her the memories that she wrote. But all I could do is read it now. 

Tomorrow morning, 7am sharp. My first day at Grey's Sloan memorial. My name sake, the legacy, third generation grey to work at this hospital. I have very big shoes to fill. But what did my dad always say? "It's a beautiful day to save lives."