Missing Feelings

Prologue

It's just another morning, I woke up with no surprise on anything. Again

I'm tired, always. I got up from the bed and went out of the room, only to find my father making some breakfast. I went to him to help out

He seems pretty happy today, he's always happy and smiling, rarely showed any other expressions. I wonder how it feels like

"How was your sleep earlier Camio?"

He asked gently, I nodded and told him I slept fine, not like a baby, everyone feels the same when they sleep, depends on how comfortable or tired they are

We finished washing the dishes and all. I woke up my other siblings while I prepared to go to school for my club lessons, can never be late on those

I greet my family goodbye before going, walking along the peaceful street of the neighborhood

A guy gave out some newspaper for the locals around, I received one as well from him. It's about the 'Cold Killer' again, father must've had a rough night he almost got caught, or someone found the body

It's not really my business anyway, he's not doing much damage as he used to now and that's what matters. I spot some people as I pass by the park, I decided to buy some ice cream for myself. I don't find much passion on it but the cold is nice

I looked at the people in the park, so many different faces they made. A child crying for ice cream, two kids laughing after getting on the slide together, a mother scolding her son, and a little girl so curious for a frog

They seem so expressive, no flat face, different expressions are carved into the same face like a copy paste with different intentions. I walk away from the park after finishing my ice cream, thinking about those people

I look at myself in the fresh puddle left by the rain last night. I was born in a stable family. My father is a baker (and a part time killer, he really should retire from that one), my dad is a police and a responsible fun guy, my older siblings are talented and kind, even miss Rebecca sometimes visited, dad told me it's alright to call her mom since they also got married but I don't think I'm close enough with her to address her as that

I wondered to myself while I keep walking, how does it feel to have emotions? I was born and raised in a functional family, then I should have no problem feeling right? Or am I naturally born this way? So many questions I wanted to ask, but in the end I'll get laughed at anyway

....

....

....

Hours passed, I walked back home after club activities is over. It's still noon so I still have some time before I can go home, I decided to go check out some bookstores

Nothing new, nothing old, everything feels the same with no thrill at all. I pick up some random books in hope to pass my boredom atleast, a psychology book attracted my eyes, making me subsconciously picking it up. I went to the cashier and payed for it

I walked home while holding that psychology book, opening it slightly to see what's in it, just some stuff about human mind. I got home and read half of the books to pass the time, while playing some games as well

I felt tired for no reason, am I tired for having no thrill, I can't answer that myself, I felt like there's holes, lots of holes in my body, it feels empty, I don't know how to feel about that

I looked at the calendar in my room, it's weekend tomorrow

Maybe I can start there

Yeah..

I'll try to atleast find it

Just one emotion at the very least

.. So I can complete myself

Prologue, end