I Can't Stand You

Pervert - Ebisu

Ebisu's face was burning as he entered Kakashi's office. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been. How could he have allowed himself to be caught at the women's bath house? He was an elite trainer of ninja, and he was clearly thinking with the wrong head earlier today. He was lucky that he wasn't thrown into jail for the night, and instead was only requested to meet with Kakashi.

Kakashi was a pervert as well, so maybe he wouldn't be too hard on him. Or maybe he was about to make an example of him so no one else did this.  He certainly wasn't the only one who was peeking into the women's bathhouses, but he was the only person he knew that had gotten caught.  And it was doubly embarrassing because he, of all people, should not have been caught.  His senses were sharp and he was stealthy and deft.  Unfortunately, so was the guard tonight, who was a mere chuunin.  It was horribly embarrassing no matter which way he looked at it.

He walked into the office and shut the door behind him, not wanting anyone to hear what was about to be said. 

Kakashi was in his chair, but the back was toward him.

"L-Lord Kakashi?"

"Straight to jail!"

WHAT?

Wait. What a minute...

"Mizuka?"

The chair spun around, revealing Mizuka's smiling face.  Her entire body was tucked up into Kakashi's chair and, when she turned, she spun around twice before catching herself with her hands on the edge of her husband's desk. This was either going to be better or even worse. She was also a pervert, but she was also a fierce champion for other women. He was fucked.

"If you were going to jail, you'd be there already."

Ebisu buried his face in his hands.

"I'm so sorry, Lady Mizuka-"

"Oh, stop being so formal with me. Shit, we grew up together. So, you were caught peeking into the ladies bath house. Hardly something to be jailed for, but I'm sure the ladies you peeked at weren't happy with you..."

He was afraid to look back up at her, filled with horror and embarrassment. Suddenly, her tone changed.

"Ebisu, it's okay. I'm just teasing you. You're not in any real trouble. I'm here because I didn't think that Kakashi was the right person to speak on snooping around in bath houses, looking at ladies-"

"This is not okay. I train elite shinobi. I can't tarnish my reputation."

He heard her stand up and make her way to the front of the desk.  When he opened his eyes, she was sitting on the front of the desk, her short black skirt fanned out around her and her legs crossed.  She was watching him sadly.

"Nobody knows except that guard, and I told him to keep it to himself.  Ebisu, you're human. And you didn't hurt anyone.  Everything's okay, but I can't let you get off the hook without any repercussion..."

Oh no, here it was-

"You have to go and visit The Kat's Meow."

The Kat's Meow.  The place that he had heard of many times from a number of male shinobi but he himself had never visited.  It was the local sex shop, catering to a variety of sexual tastes.

"No-"

"Yes.  Go to The Kat's Meow and look at paper coochie and titties, like everyone else."

"Oh god... I can't be seen at the porn store..."

"And being seen around the women's bath house is better?  Don't make me give you a lecture on normalizing sexuality.  Is that what you want?  A lecture on why looking at porn is normal AND you still have to go?"

He sighed, clearly defeated.

"Fine, I'll go. When is it usually the least busy?"

"Midweek. And the owner is cool. Katsu.  She's the Kat in The Kat's Meow. You have until the end of the week to go there and at least look around and tell her hello.  And I'll know if you didn't follow through: Katsu is a really good friend of mine.  I'll ask her if you were in."

He nodded, turning to leave.

"Oh, and Ebisu?"

He stopped in his tracks in front of the door.

"Yes?"

"If you're caught peeking in the women's bathhouse again, I'll tell everyone.  You know I will."

He cringed before leaving, shutting the door behind him.  So, that was it.  No more going to peek at the ladies in the bathhouses anymore.  It was the end of an era for him; something he had been doing for a very long time.

He wasn't going to The Kat's Meow tonight.  It was Monday, and he had decided to at least give himself the rest of the night to process what all had happened.  He could go tomorrow night, or even Wednesday.  Or wait until the last minute.  As long as he did it and didn't go back to the bathhouse, that was it.  No problem.  Except it was a huge problem.  He just wasn't a fan of what Mizuka called 'paper coochie and tits.' He liked the real thing. 

Maybe it was time to start trying the dating pool again.  But he hated the dating pool: there was undoubtedly pee in it.  The women he seemed to find had expensive taste, and he was expected to take them out to dinner and buy their love in return for merely satisfying sex.  It wasn't bad, but it wasn't explosive or exciting.  At least, he didn't think so. He hadn't experienced anything that really blew his mind. Nothing was as exciting as peeking into the bath houses at the naked women.  And he didn't have to buy them anything.

Ugh, he really was a pervert.  This was horrible.