Dsmp tommy exile au * may come back?*

|||||||||

(I have lost count of how many lines to put as the title:/ also I made another book so check it out if u like sbi shit)
TW: panic attacks, throwing up

TOMMY POV:
I sit on the couch crying still, I just can't stop the tears from coming out. I hate...everything and everyone! My friends left me alone for months and the only people who ever came to me were ranboo and will... and dream. BUT ITS ALL DREAMS FAULT TOO! He made this all happen and now look where i am! I hate him, and tubbo and lmanburg and exile but most of all I HATE MYSELF! It's all my fault. I can't keep anything or anyone that's good for long! Its hell! I just want it to go back to before all of this, all of the explosions and death. When will was alive. I cry more. I feel my lungs hurt. It was getting hard to breath and it all hurt!
(NOOO I FORGOT TO MAKE IT TILTED WORDS NOOOOOO SRY IMMA GO BACK TO THAT)

PHIL POV:
I let Tommy have some space and go back to my seat. Techno had gone to the other side of the room. I didn't bother him to much. "Just act like it was a normal family argument!" I say to myself but was interrupted by Tommy's breath getting louder. I look up from my green mug of coffee to see him shaking on the couch still crying. I get up and walk over to him to see the panic in his red eyes all tearing up, his breath getting harder and more aggressive. I know what's happening. Panic attack. I rush to his side and yell for techno to come here. I pick him up in my arms and note he is a little light. I see techno at my side looking at Tommy with panic. I didn't know how to help with panic attacks, will used to get them a lot as a kid but techno was always by his side to help. "Hey Tommy can you hear me? I need you to breath with me, we can follow my breathing by counting ok? 1,2,3 we will breath in 1,2,3,4 we can breath out ok?" Techno says calmly. Tommy crying looks up at him still panicking and throws up. Will never did that... that's fine I'll deal with that after but I feel Tommy breath slowing down. Techno is still focused of Tommy's breathing and counting. He didn't even flinch at the throw up. After about 3 minutes of breathing he switched "Tommy let's try and focus on colours around the room. I'll name a colour you point to it ok?" Techno asks. Tommy nods and they start pointing and naming colours. Tommy's voice was very quite and scratchy from still crying a bit. After more time of slowing Tommy down we get him to breath normally. I feel his head lay back in my arms and he's asleep. That must of taken a lot out of him. I place him down on the couch and go to get cleaning stuff for the barf. "We're lucky his panic attack wasn't as bad as wills were." Techno says following me to get cleaning things. I didn't see wills panic attacks alot and he only ever told me about them after he left in letters and I never asked techno for the specifics about them. "What were wills like?" I ask now walking back to the throw up. "I couldn't touch him without him panicking more all I could do was distract him and he couldn't talk. At least Tommy still tries to talk will just couldn't. But he didn't ever throw up." Techno whispers as we clean the throw up. I nod as he tells me more about how they were. I never knew why he had never come to me for help but I didn't ask. We finished cleaning the throw up and I put all the dishes by the sink. I'd do those later so it wouldn't make noise. Techno asks if I want to go help with the bees outside. I say yes and we get dressed up and head out. Leaving a note for Tommy. As I'm about to close the door I look at techno. "How I'll he read the note?" I ask. We stare at each other and just decide to leave it and if he needed help to keep and ear open.