I Didn't Want This To Be The End

Lim Jooin: A Goodbye

Golden leaves falling onto the ground as the air breeze touch my skin, how long has it been since the last time i saw you, felt you, and how long has it been since the last time you told me "I love you"?.

"Master! let's go" Cain ran to me and hold my hand tightly

"Hahaha I'm coming alright alright"

The memories you left behind, you told me that you love me but why am i looking at you being with someone else, you are so happy and why, why does it hurt.

"Yahwi was hurt, he was in pain jooin, you didn't understand him at all, you never gave him a chance, how could he say anything when all of the things he's done is so wrong in your eyes?" his tone change and he sounded sad rather than getting angry

"Yahwi spent all of his years waiting for you, he wanted you to remember him but, you didn't. He actually cared, he actually loved you how come your thoughts of him is like that? was it him?! was is that blonde guy you met?! oh for fucks sake how light minded of you" he sighed

"I- never thought of it, I never let him speak i-" I was shaking

"You were the one who fell inlove with yahwi first and yet you don't even try to understand him at all" he walk away

It was raining, it was quiet but loud.

It was like this, you catch me that time, I remember it, I missed you.

"Master why do you look awfully sad? are you thinking of it again?" Cain's voice changed and I couldn't say anything

am I feeling compunction? why am I like this,,,

He prevaricate about his intentions, he didn't actually mean it right? Cain wasn't lying right?

"I hope you did listen to me that time, I was actually having a hard time expressing myself to you hahaha but I guess you really are happy with Cain now, i don't know what to feel about this jooin" a shaky voice with a teary eye stopped me from moving

he's acting again is he?

"His stories about me, did you actually believe it? well I guess you did I mean you like him right? that's why you became one that night, where i was waiting for you"

He was lying right? Cain was the one saying the truth, sunbae was lying right?

"You never believed me" that was the end of our conversation and as far as I know as the end of the day goes by I felt more and more empty

He found someone, He was proud of their relationship.

"Master?" Cain's voice woke me up from my daydreams

"Yes? I'm sorry I was just having some thoughts, let's go?" as I took a step, I'm actually going far and far, far away from you, from what we had.

It might actually be the end but if I had the chance, please let me get back to you and I'll be the one to fix it, to fix everything.

Your words that I thought was all just lies, it was made by my own thoughts of you, I never trusted you enough sunbae because I wanted more than what we had, I became greedy, I wanted more and when you couldn't give it, I actually tried finding it on someone else.

"Jooin If you only did try to listen to me, if you haven't done that, if you could've been more mature or maybe a little bit more understanding we could've been a perfect couple but thank you, it was nice falling inlove with you"

We could've been more than what we have if I was just impatient and more understanding right? please let me go back

"Master come on! you are thinking about alot of things huh" Cain stopped and hug me

"I'll be here for you master, always" he smiled.

Yes, you are here with me cain but why am i looking for someone else?