Without Her ✓

Last Time

Tessa

I cried the whole way home.

Thankfully there weren't many people on the bus so nobody noticed my face was full of ugly tears. No matter how much I felt like I had to stop, I just kept crying. I kept replaying what happened in my head and everytime it made me want to cry even harder.

It makes me cry, but why do I keep doing it?

When I got home I went straight into my room and sat on my bed. I was glad my dad wasn't in the living room so he didn't see me coming in looking like a lost kid.

I stared at the wall blankly. I focused on keeping my tears back but it was so hard. I'd promised myself I'd never cry for a boy. Why would I? It would be a dumb reason to cry for. Boys come and go.

With Leo it was different. I'd trusted him. I'd told him things it took years to tell Jane and Serenity, in just a few months.

And now it was over. Done.

Even if he was the reason for my pain, I needed comfort and the worst thing was that I knew he was the only one who could give it to me. I also knew he would probably be a wreck by now. His trembling eyes didn't miss my gaze before I left. His expression was painful.

Maybe I can go back. Just to see how he's doing. We can't be together but we don't have to be strangers right?

What was I saying? I'd just left his place a couple hours ago and I wanted to go back.

I couldn't go back, It wasn't a good idea, but I couldn't help but listen to my heart instead of my brain. It was something I'd been doing a lot ever since Leo came into my life.

After what felt like hours of staring at the wall, I made a decision.

Fuck it. I'm going.

I left my place hurriedly. Everyone was asleep and it was almost midnight. It probably wasn't so wise to walk alone at that time, but I didn't care. It's not like I was scared. I felt a little more confident in my skills after what I'd lived.

Although things still happen.

When I got on the bus there were very few people there.

Of course. It's almost midnight.

The thought of Leo when I was mad because he didn't text me came to my mind and I smiled bitterly.

'No one is around at this hour, sweetheart. You're the only idiot who decided to stay outside while her life is in danger'

I was already regretting my decision, but I couldn't go back now. Besides, I wanted to see him.

Would he tell me to leave? Probably. The thought made me even worse but I tried to not cry this time. I didn't want to embarrass myself in public again. I just needed to see him, make sure he's okay.

The bus stop was near his place. I just had to walk a little.

I stood outside his apartment building my hand hovering over the intercom.

I didn't come all the way here to back out now.

I pressed it and waited, my heart racing.

To my surprise, he let me in without even asking who it was.

I frowned and opened the door walking to the elevator in a hurry.

Does he know it's me? Is he waiting for someone else? His friends?

I knocked on his door firmly and then fiddled with my fingers nervously as I waited.

The door opened and the sight in front of me made my heart drop.