Chapter 1
My heart was beating a million miles an hour. I wanted to throw up. I had never had nerves like this before. Why was I freaking out so much?! Calm down Maddy I told myself. But I couldn't. Everything was riding on this. If I didn't make this shot I might lose my scolarship, and that was not an option. I had to go to college, and my parents simply couldn't afford to send me without some sort of aid. I would not spend the rest of my life living with my parents and working at Burger King. There had to be more for me.
I took a deep breath in and dribbled a few times trying to ease my nerves. I remembered when basketball actually used to be fun. I would shoot free-throws with my friends after school because I wanted to, not because I had to. And afterwards, we would go over to one of their houses for movie night, and nobody cared if we stayed up all night because it made no difference to us if we were at our best the next day. Those were the days before my dad was layed off over a year ago. Then every aspect of my future rode on basketball, because academic scolarships were so hard to come by. I glanced over at the college scouts sitting in the front row. I had to impress, disappointment was absolutely not an option at this point. Breathing out i bent my knees and arched my hands, desperately trying for that perfect form. Then I let go.
Miss. The clock times out, the game is over. I feel tears welling up in my eyes, this can't be happening. Why? I had put in so much time, so much effort into the game I loved so much. Well, used to love. Now the only thing I had to look for in my future was the rejection letter sure to show up in my mailbox next week. I look down at my feet as my teammates pat me on the back, telling me its not my fault. My coach also tries to reassure me, but its no use, that was my last chance and the season is now over. I felt so unsure of myself. My life was going to go in an entirely different direction than I had thought. What now? Community college I guess. And I had wanted so much more. I was going to Cali, I was going to get away from Nebraska, away from all the smalltown crap that had held me back for so long. I couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face as I picked up my gym bag from the bench and headed out to the car where my parents were waiting.
"Hi Maddy." My dad said as I climbed in the van.
"Hi." I squeaked, I couldn't control my tears for the life of me.
I looked over at my mom. She just stared at the road ahead of us, not saying a word. I could tell she had been crying too.
"Mom?"
She shook her head.
"Im so sorry Maddy. I'm so sorry we can't provide more for you. I'm so sorry." She blubbered uncontrolably.
I'm sorry too I thought bitterly. If we had more money I wouldn't be forced to go to community college or straight into the workforce. But I had to be strong. Not only for myself, but for my parents, because I knew how much they wished they could give me more, and hated themselves because they couldn't. So I just nodded, and tried to smile, for their sake.
"So what happens now?" My little brother Jake said. Funny, I had forgotten he was in the car. "Is Maddy staying at home next year?"
God, I hope not. But I had to admit it was a definite possibility.
"I don't know." I didn't say anything after that. I think Jake got the idea that I just couldn't or I would fall apart, and he was right. The rest of the car ride was silent.
After that, things were pretty wierd. I didn't know how to feel about things. I felt like my whole world had been altered, and I was the only thing out of place. I applied to local colleges and hoped for the best, but didn't care if the worst happened. Because not caring had just become a regular thing for me. I tried to keep my grades up, but I didn't care if I failed a test or two. I just wanted to graduate and move on with my life. My friends asked me to hang out with them, but I just didn't want to. I was becoming depressed. I desperately wanted a change in my life, and coudn't bear the disappointment that that change was never coming. My parents were worried, my mom specifically. I heard her talking about me to my older brother Dev on the phone one day. My brother didn't call home much, he lived and worked in london as a sound engineer. The only time he called home was when he felt obligated to.
"I've failed her as a mother Dev. I put so much pressure on her for so long, she sees no other possibilities for herself. She thinks community college is like damnation, and I feel like I'm the one who damned her to it."
I heard noise coming from the phone, but I couldn't make out what my brother was saying. Then my mother spoke again.
"I don't know." More buzzing from the phone. "I know It's hard for her. I just want her to be okay, and I don't think she's going to be here." More muffled voices. "She graduates next week. Yes, yes I'll tell her. Okay. Good bye."
She must have hung up.
"Maddy! Come downstairs and do the dishes."
*Next Week*
"Maddy! When did you get so tall?" My older brother casually walked up me at my graduation party.
"DEV! I haven't seen you in ages! When did you get here? This is such a surprise!" I threw my arms around him, I had missed him so much and hardly ever got to talk to him.
"Couldn't miss my baby sister's graduation now could I? I'm staying in town for a few days. Lord knows how I've missed Nebraska." He said sarcastically, and I laughed. It was so good to talk to someone who got it.
"Get me out of here." I pleaded, half kidding, but half not. He smiled.
"Trust me sis, I'm trying. But you know how Mom and Dad are."
"What are you talking about?"
"I want you to come live with me in London. You could work as my asistant at the studio for the rest of the summer. You could apply to colleges in London, they have great programs for american students. It could be a whole new life for you." He smiled, he must know how much his offer meant to me. It was my ticket out of here. I could leave.
"I'm in. How soon can we leave?" I said, my voice not even trying to hide the excitement I felt.
"Slow down there tiger. We have to convice Mom and Dad first, or at least pretend that we care what they think. We'll leave next friday if everything goes well."
That next week couldn't have gone slower. I wanted so badly to leave, I thought of nothing else. I was packed almost immediately after my brother's offer. My parents were very uneasy about my descision.
"Are you sure Maddy? Londons so far away from everything you know." My dad said.
"I'll be fine, Dad. I'm sure this is what I want." I told him.
"But won't you miss us?" My mom's insecurities shone through.
"Of coarse I'll miss you! But I need a change. Dev will look after me, everything will be fine. I promise."
There were many conversations like that throughout the week, but they knew it didn't matter what they said, they couldn't stop me. When Friday came, the water works were on full blast.
"I love you so much Maddy! Call us everyday! We'll miss you!" My mom called as we headed off to our plane.
"Was she like this when you left home?" I asked Dev.
"Er...kind of. But your her baby girl, so its a bit worse for you." Aww. Poor Mom. I had only been thinking about myself for so long, I didn't even think about how hard this must be for her, two of her kids halfway across the world.
The planeride was pretty quiet, we sat in first-class and I watched movies the whole time. When we landed in London, I was pretty beat. Dev's car was waiting for him, and we drove back to his apartment.
"So.....what happens now?" I inquired.
"Well, we go home, you sleep, and we start work tomarrow." Already? That was fast. I would be an assistant to a sound engineer. Then I remembered what sound engineers did.
"What artists do you work with?" I asked.
"Olly Murs, Ed Sheeran, and One Direction are some of the usuals. We work with lots of people though." Oh my God. I was going to work with One Direction. Did I mention I was a fangirl? Hopefully not to Dev, or he would embarrass me to death. I couldn't believe it.
Once we got to the apartment I started to unpack my things and then went to bed, which was pointless. Because how on earth was I supposed to sleep when I was going to meet One Direction Tomarrow?
