Untitled Jojo Story

1 - Intro: Old Town Road

Inhale, exhale.

*Smells like metal and wood. Its...really uncomfortable. 

What am I doing? My back hurts. I'm on...a bed.

I think the mattress is thin, incredibly thin. It feels like im sleeping on concrete. I don't even have a pillow. Why would I be sleeping in such an uncomfortable bed? 

Actually, where am I? I'm so tired. I feel like I've slept for days.

I guess I have to open my eyes and see. Is it worth it though? What if I'm dreaming? No, this discomfort feels too real to be a dream.*

My eyes open. The first thing I see is a big, barred metal door, like you would see in a jail cell. I look around and see exactly that. A cell made out of stone blocks, containing a rusty and dirty toilet along with an uncomfortable wooden bed I woke up in.

*A cell? Why am I in a cell?... I can barely see anything, theres just a torch here but its not lighting up the room much.*

I sluggishly get out of bed and walk up to the cell door. I look outside and see an almost seemingly endless corridor of the same kinds of cell doors to my left and my right. Nobody in sight, and all the cells seem completely empty. Complete silence in every direction.

*Alright... Maybe i can get a guard over or something if I make enough noise.*

So I bang on the door as loud as i can, and after just a few moments a guard comes out of seemingly nowhere and faces me.

"The fuck you want?" he tells me. He is wearing a blue guard uniform and a strange, round blue hat. He has a few scars on his face, his hair looks short and dark, and his eyebrows are fucking huge and connected.

*Holy shit, thats one hell of a unibrow you got there, brother.* I think to myself.

"Holy sh.. I mean.. Uh, where am i?" I tell the guard as nice as I can.

"In a cell, you dumb fuck." he responds back.

"No shit, what building is this cell in?!" I yell back.

"How should I know?!"

"You are literally the guard!"

"Who says im the fucking guard?" he suddenly tells me.

"What..? I mean, you're literally wearing a guard uniform and--"

"And what?! Wearing guard clothes automatically makes you a guard?! You need to be more open minded buddy, its...uhh....fuck, what year is it again? Doesn't matter. The thing is, I just like wearing guard clothes. And this hat I found in some random dumpster outside a 7/11." he says.

"So what are you doing here then?" I ask him, annoyed.

"Guarding the place."

"SO YOU ARE THE GUARD!?" I yell at him.

"I never said I wasn't!" he tells me.

*This guy is really starting to piss me off... I just have to be calm and talk my way through this nicely, I guess.*

"Why am I here, then?" I ask him, trying to calm myself down.

"Not sure. But I can't let you out." he responds.

"What, why? I have no memory of getting here, and I sure as hell haven't done anything to get imprisoned!" I yell back.

"Nah, big man says you can't. He told me i have to guard you in this place, make sure you don't escape."

"What, who told you that?!"

"The boss. The big man. The leader. The guy in the chair. King of the castle. Dude who has the throne. The man who--" he says before I interrupt him.