The Sea of You & Me

15. Kenny

Chapter Song: Blue Sky's- Noah and the Whale

4, 3, 2

I hurled my body over me flipping as close to the wall my nose almost scratched. I turned, twisting my whole body and continued on without breaking the surface. It was such a fluid motion I almost felt 16 again.

I'd been meaning to do this for a while but I just never did it until now. It felt just the same as it did anytime I got into the water. The comforting feeling being surrounded in silence. But the calm as I held my breath was different than it used to be.

This was new.

Almost as if I was getting to know the water again. Maybe because it was a new pool or maybe because I hadn't tried to hold my breath in so long. It was familiar and a stranger all at once.

I finished my lap and sank slowly to the bottom.

There was something beautiful about staring at the surface sitting underneath it. It was blurry and moving through the little waves distorting the image. It felt as if time stopped and I was the only one allowed to be free. I forgot how easily it brought me bliss.

After it felt like my lungs could no longer handle it I broke the surface inhaling small amounts of air. Which felt longer than I thought I could. Not deep breaths that would be worse. Slow and steady.

I felt as if I were on a first date again. Anxious, nervous, excited to see where it would go. The only difference was how at ease I was when I swam laps earlier. I was definitely not as in shape for swimming as I once was. But the movements still had rhythm it once did. They weren't robotic as I thought they would be. The good old muscle memory returned easier than I thought it would.

Maybe I would come back once the wedding was over and do this more often. I think it would help a little bit. It always had before. Now there wasn't pressure of competition so maybe I'd enjoy it more.

There was too much on my mind. There was always too much going on in there. I guess this was my way of avoiding other responsibilities but I'd been wanting to take this step for a while.

After a few more laps I hopped out and began to wring out my hair before grabbing the towel I brought. I heard footsteps but didn't bother turning around. Probably someone to come swim. I had the pool to myself the majority of the hour. Ty said it was a good time to swim if I wanted to be alone.

"Is that the one and only, the legend, Kennedy Parker coming out of retirement?" Speak of the damn devil.

"It wasn't really a retirement," I smiled shaking my head at him.

"How'd it feel," he nodded toward a bench motioning for me to go sit. I sat.

"Like I never stopped." It felt good to admit. It felt good to be back in the water. Some sense of familiarity after feeling like walking through a dream for weeks.

"You can take the girl out of the pool," he sighed as I snorted. "Could you imagine if you hadn't stopped?"

"Sometimes I think about it. I don't regret it," I paused. "I hated the pressure you know?"

"Yeah I started to understand why you did it, during junior year of college. I think it hit freshman year when I wasn't the best." He admitted.

I had to say I was surprised but at the same time I wasn't. The pressure we put on ourselves would crush us entirely if we let it.

We sat there for a while not saying anything. "But I would have liked to see what would have happened if I kept it up."

"Unstoppable."