Insecure...

What If I Want a Fresh Start? Is That So Much to Ask For?

"Honestly, thank you for all the good stuff that you do provide. You can be a good guy."

Just. Like. That. He thought he could leave them just like that.

If the ducking out wasn't bad enough. Virgil was still a friend, if he had known he wanted to duck out, he would've talked him out of that. He would've done everything he could have done to convince him not to go through with it. He would've even gotten Remus to talk to Virgil, despite Janus being able to list all the things that would go wrong with that.

Anything. He would've done anything for Virgil. 

And he left him.

Janus wasn't going to pretend that Thomas was wrong. There's good to anxiety. Much like how there's good to deceit. And hell, he would go as far as to say there was even good to Remus. Maybe if Patton had been less strict, Thomas could see that. But will he ever see the benefit in lies? 

One day, and mark Janus' words, he will.

After all, he saw the benefits of anxiety. And it took Virgil having to duck out in order to realize it.

He wasn't sitting down for this. He stood up, pacing around his room a bit as his head was filled with thoughts. Anger swelled up inside of him, making his fingers curl until his hand was a fist. His jaw clenched, until he started to relax it. He suppressed the urge to scream.

STOP! Breathe, in and out. It's okay. Janus needed to sometimes remember how to calm himself down. Usually, Virgil would help him. But now he was alone. 

Not if he can't do anything about it. Taking his spot, he sunk out.

"He never really was good at art," he heard Virgil remark, holding a card Patton made for him. 

"Tell me about it," Janus remarked, making himself known. "I mean, have you seen the things he puts up on the fridge? Leave the art to the fans, why doesn't he?"

Virgil turned quickly to his former friend, who gave him a smirk and a little wave as a response. "I mean, did you really think I'd miss this occasion? Thomas has finally seen you for who you really... want to be," he emphasized, golf clapping. 

He's seen me for who I am! Isn't that enough?" Virgil retaliated.

"Lower your voice, Genderbent Coraline. We wouldn't want your Tempest Tongue biting back again, now would we?"

"I'll f... ricking... bite you until you-"

"Virgil I'm a snake, you'll poison yourself and die."  That got him to stop. Thomas once said, 'Grab the moment while the moment's good', and Janus had a feeling that moment was now. He had to address something else first.  "Ducking out... Virgil, at any point, you could've talked to us. Remus and I would, of course, love to listen to you and make sure you were okay. You're so import-"

"Yeah, I got the message. Thanks," Virgil snapped.

Janus sighed. "Long day?" He earned a nod from his friend. "Can we talk about Roman, Patton, and Logan?" He got a glare that time, which he responded with a shrug. 

"No, actually."

"Excuse me?"

"You don't know them! At least, not the way I've gotten to know them. They're not the- they- they're good-"

"I never told you they were bad. I told you they want different things for Thomas than we do. I mean, Patton again, exhausting Thomas with repressing everything Remus stands for and having him do good for others while also not taking care of himself."

"He can grow. Just like I have."

"You're never going to-"

"What if I want a fresh start? Is that so much to ask for?"

"This is your fresh start! You were para-" 

"DON'T!"

"-before you were anxiety! This is your second chance! And who gave that to you?" He paused. "And this is the thanks you give me." He crossed his arms. "Well, I can't wait to watch you grow close to your new friends.  Let's see how fall you're willing to go this time." He sunk out with that.

Janus didn't hesitate. He rose up in the twin's room, clearing his throat to get their attention. "Remus. I totally don't need to speak with you."

Remus shrugged. "Alright, cool!" and Janus sighed. He didn't get it, did he?

He tried again. "Remus. Come to my room." He sunk out and returned to his room, waiting patiently for his friend.

"J-anus! I hath arrivethed!" Remus announced, even giving a little bow as he did so. Janus hated the nickname, but he would never tell Remus that. He sighed as Remus marked his territory on Janus' bed, making the snake stand up. He paced around as he narrated.

"So. I'm under the light assumption you don't know what happened to Remus?"

"Roman accidentally told me!"

Janus was confused. "He acci..."

"He told me."

"Okay! Well, moving on. You know what this means?"

"We're out-gunned, out-manned, out-numbered, out-planned?" Remus referenced Hamilton, giggling to himself.

Janus sighed. "Yes. And we're going to need a right-hand man!"

"An eye for an eye?" Remus asked, taking his own eye out of its socket. "Or a tooth for a tooth?" he added, removing a tooth. After a warning from Janus, he puts the two body parts back in, but in the wrong places. A second warning, and Remus's face was fixed. "I say we take Logan! Leave my brother and your opposite with the emo!"

"We can't stoop down to Virgil's level. We need to rise above. We have us. We need one more...."

"Bestie, we ain't doing what I'm thinking, are we?"

"Probably not. What we are doing is creating a new side. Our own side. A side that won't turn his back on us like Virgil. He'll be ours."

"Ours? You mean like our child? Well, Janus, if you wanted to-" Remus kept talking as he started taking off his pants. In a disgust, Janus turned around.

"Remus, no! We are not doing that; we are both men! And no, we're not shapeshifting into a female to do it, we're both gay! Put your pants back on!"

"Well then, how are we gonna do it?"

"You and your brother have the Imagination, right?"

"Mhm! So, I'll go there and create him myself?"

"Remus, if I wanted you to do it on your own, you'd be doing it by now. We're creating him together."

Remus froze at that, looking up at Janus with his pants only halfway on. "Janus, do you know how dangerous that is for you? For anyone other than Roman and I?"

"Yes. It won't be long." When he didn't get a reply, he waited a few moments before turning around to Remus. "You're going to have to trust me here. I can't let anything go wrong."

"But what if-"

"Stop. What has to be done will be done. No matter the costs."