The Last Note [ON HOLD]

11. REWRITE THE STARS.

Ajey's P.O.V:

I almost forgot how it felt like roaming around the streets, having foods you crave the most; the fragrance which hits your nostrils when you are near a street food corner; the buzzing noises of the chaotic roads and its people, which feel like a melody when not heard in a while; or just wandering around the city in general.

Thanks to the galis of Purana Lucknow for making me feel like a human again.

Well, yes. Didn't I say I wanted to explore the City of Nawabs to its fullest? I am doing that right now!

Long story short, I won the award. Not just one, but two awards! And now here I am with my family in the bazzars of Purana Lucknow, exploring it in the best ways we possibly can.

We'll be leaving tomorrow evening. And we wondered if just in case we prefer going back home with the cherish-able memories of this city, rather than going back to Delhi's chahal-pahal without even breathing the tehzeeb of Lucknow.

And so, here we are witnessing and living the chaos, the culture, the incredibility of this city, and honestly, I am loving it! And why would I not when I get to live the introvert in me, though being in public? My thoughts are just acting like the icing to my cake, which though, was delicious enough, but the icing just enhanced its taste and appearance to the next level.

Winning an award after so long hit me like ecstacy. I didn't expect that to happen. Especially when I felt like a hopeless moron who people think is "funny". But here comes a contrast, I don't feel like a hopeless moron anymore!
Before winning the titles, I felt like I wasn't deserving enough, even to be nominated. But now I feel like that I've earned those two titles with my hard work.

The sleepless nights I spent on editing, scripting, shooting the videos and the amount of hopelessness I bore while watching the most bullshit, annoying, cringe, stupid, horrible and terrible content, all at once for the videos was worth it!!

I don't know what's working in my favour right now, at this moment. Is it that venting session with Yash? Or just the divine blessings of the Supreme? I don't know.

But whatever it is, I am grateful to it. It is making things work in my favour like never before. I feel happier these days, I've stopped putting people on a pedestal, I am slowly learning to stop caring about what people think about me, I feel more full of spirit these days, I feel more worthy and more deserving, I finally have started to enjoy work again rather than perceiving it as a burden for myself in order to survive, I've started loving my work all over again. So much, that now all I want to do is give love and get love.

And the weirdest part? I don't sound like myself anymore. I don't sound like that Ajey who had given up upon life and the will to live. The Ajey who thought that only a so-called, huge-ass "victory" in life can fix him and that the little things don't matter. The Ajey who had forgotten the importance to be grateful for what he has and had stopped believing in the universe's magic; his own magic. He had forgot that there exists a magical element in not just him, but every single soul that once existed and is still existing on this earth - the magical element of faith and hope.

As much short as they may sound they are, the depth of their abstraction can only be felt by someone who was once deprived of them. Someone who lost faith in himself and hope in others.

And trust me when I say this, once someone goes through all the shit it takes to bear their absence, they become more and more aware about the importance of hope and faith in their life. I am that someone.