Natapos Ng Hindi Nasimulan (A Short Story)

The Story

I love darkness because in the dark I can  let out my feelings that I'm hiding to them. Since nung iniwan kase niya ako wala na akong pinagkatiwalaang tao para malapitan at masabihan nang mga problema ko.

No one knows kung ano talaga ang nararamdaman ko.  When I'm in front of them, I always keep on smiling to them na parang wala akong lungkot na nadarama. But when I'm alone tsaka ako umiiyak.

I don't have a parents. I don't have any relatives. In short I'm alone now. I don't have anyone to lean on.

My parents died because of the accident. Car accident. We were going to Baguio  that time when our Car bumped by the truck.  The truck driver was too drunk and he didn't notice our car. I'm the only one who survived. My mom,  my dad and my big sister die. That time I don't know what I'm going to do.  I'm only 15. And the only one that I have is my bestfriend. But he left me.

Jandrie Salazar, he is my bestfriend since me and my family move in New town subdivision. I was 8 years old back then and he is 9. He's so annoying when we are kids. He always keep on following me.  I ask him why.

"Ihh kase feeling ko loner ka ihh.  I just wanted to be your friend. " he said while playing his finger cause I think his a little bit embarass that day. 

Since then,  we're  always together. Sharing in everything. He's always there when I need him,  when I have a problem. My mom and dad trusted him so much.

And when the accident happened he never leaves me.  He help me in everything. Mabuti na Lang may pera sila mom and dad na naitago sa bangko.  Yun ang ginamit ko sa pagaaral ko at sa iba ko pang pangangailangan.

When I'm in my college. Something happened between me and Jandrie. He always keep on avoiding me. I don't know why.  Yung dating pagiging malapit namin nagkaroon ng gap. Hindi na kami naguusap gaya ng dati. Hindi na rin niya ako hinahatid at sinusundo. Hindi na siya dumadating pag kailangan ko siya.  Sinubukan ko siyang kausapin pero iniwasan niya Lang ako. Gulong gulo ako sa sitwasyon naming dalawa.

Triny ko ring kausapin ang mga magulang niya pero sabi nila baka busy Lang si Drie. 

Three months had passed. But there's no Jandrie.  I missed him so much.  I missed everything about him. All I can do is to reminisced  our memories with each other.

Then one day her mom called me.

"Hello,  Aviane speaking. " I answered.

"Via... this is J-jandrie's mother. " she said in the middle of her sobs.

"Tita Janice? Why are you crying? What happened? " sunod sunod na tanong ko.

"Via...(*cry).... Via si Jandrie... Si J-jandrie wala n-na siya." She said.

At sa pagkakataong yun nanginig ang buong katawan ko. Nahulog ang cellphone na hawak ko at napaluhod sa sahig.

No, that's not true. He's not gone.

All I can do is to cry and cry. Hindi ko matanggap ang nangyare.

Hindi ako pumunta sa mga unang lamay ni Jandrie. Sa huling lamay ako pumunta na sana di ko na lang ginawa.

I can't even look at his coffin. I don't want to see him peacefully lying in the coffin.
But I don't have a choice.

Unti-unti  akong lumapit sa kanya na kampanteng nakahiga na walang iniisip na problema at ano Pa man. Nang nasa tapat ko na ang kabaong niya, dahan dahan akong tumingin sa mukha niya. Takot akong tumingin sa patay pero ngayon parang nawala na ang takot ko. 

I stared in his handsome face that is peacefully sleeping. Sleeping that never be able to awake. Hinaplos ko ang transparent na salamin sa tapat nang mukha niya.