Spark's Fly

Chapter 3

After the gym we head back to my place.

Today I’m filming Jennie’s Kitchen for my video blog. Usually I do it all on my own, with my manager showing up after to accompany me to my other activities. Jisoo is eager to help so I show her how to use the camera before getting things out.

I’m making two things. The first uses bananas. As I peal them Jisoo moves in to do a close up of my hands. She’s so close I can smell her scent as it mixes with the banana’s odor. As I take a deep breath I’m transported back to a tropical island. The sea breeze is blowing through my hair and I can hear the ocean waves at a distance as they crash against the shore line.

“Jennie?”

Jisoo looks concerned as I realize I’ve dropped my banana.

I wash it off as I joke, “We’ll just take that part out in post.”

My hands are shaking as I end up dropping the wet fruit in the sink. When I get it doubly clean I move onto putting it in the blender with some other fruits. When Jisoo does the close up this time I end up putting more chia seeds into the mixture than needed.

“Do you want to shoot that again?”

I smile at the camera as I assure the future audience they don’t need to add as much as me, “I just really like my chia seeds.” Jisoo smiles as if she believes the lie. But that’s what it is.

I don’t know why I’m acting so flustered. I’m used to working in front of an audience. I’ve modeled clothing, lingerie even, and haven’t felt more than a hearts flutter at the surrounding audience. But in those times the lights make it hard to see their faces as I become lost in my runway gaze.

Here in the kitchen Jisoo’s face is all I can see. Jisoo with her frizzy curls, large glasses, and self-conscious smile.

Instead of focusing on that I concentrate on the potatoes as I start to dice them. After they are all cut I turn to drop them into a bowl and almost run into Jisoo. When I don’t move, pausing with the potatoes clutched in my hands, she looks up from the camera. Her sapphire eyes seem to hit me like those ocean waves from before as I feel myself step back.

“Are you okay?”

She sounds worried and my voice is too tight to respond. I manage a nod before dropping the potatoes into the container.

I am Jennie Kim. I do not get befuddled. Sure I make mistakes, but I make it a point to not do so in front of people. I have an image to protect. I can be goofy at times, but that is when I’m trying to be for my friends or the audience. But right now I’m not in control at all.

I have to play it cool, no matter how much my hands are shaking. No matter if I nick my finger while slicing the garlic, ouch. I’m cool and I’m collected.

It’s because I’m maintaining that air that I notice Jisoo’s eyes follow the plate of food as I set it down for a finishing shot.

“You haven’t eaten breakfast, have you?”

From her expression as she shakes her head, I can tell she probably missed the meal because of nerves. Right now I can completely understand her as my stomach is so tied up in knots I can’t even imagine eating without wanting to throw up.

At first she looks like she’s going to refuse the food, but as I waft the smell towards her she gives in.

Her eyes brighten when she takes the first bite. “What can’t you do?”

The admiration in her eyes make my cheeks heat as I brush my hair back.

“Join me?”

Again I can’t verbalize my assent as I give her a single nod before grabbing my own plate. We sit in silence for a time as Jisoo makes sounds of enjoyment. I put the fork into my mouth to hide my smile as I look off to the side. When you don’t know someone that well sometimes the silence can be awkward. But sitting here now I feel as if I’ve known her forever.
“Is managing your passion now?”

I’ve stepped on another land mine as I watch Jisoo’s shoulders curve inward, “It’s my dad’s career.”

I can tell by the way she says it, coupled with the angry way she stabs at the potatoes, that it’s not even close to her passion, “And he wants you to continue in the family business?”

She nods, looking away in that way that people do when they don’t want to keep talking about something.

“I’ve always wanted to learn to play an instrument. While we are together do you think you could teach me?”

Her eyes come back to mine. I can tell she suspects what I’m up to, but I put on a wide smile to cover the guilt. She’s not convinced but she doesn’t say anything as we finish our meal.

Our next stop takes us across town to a studio where I’m recording one of Wired’s “Web’s Most Searched Questions.”

I watched a few of their videos beforehand just to get a feel for what is expected. Some just answered the questions, moving through them at a quick pace, others took their time going into great detail. Still others didn’t answer the questions at all as they played the interview silly. I’m not sure yet how I’ll do it, maybe a little of all three.

The first question is something that has come up for a lot of people, “Who is Jennie Kim?”

I’d decided before hand how I would respond if I got this question. I’m sure it’s not the funniest thing to say but I find myself smiling as I reply, “I ask myself that every morning. I might have amnesia.”

Some behind the camera chuckle. Jisoo cracks a smile. It is soft and flutters away like a butterfly as she drops her eyes to her phone.

A question about if I have tattoos comes up, “Since my mother is probably going to watch this, I’m going to say, “Of course not. I would never do that to my body.”

The camera man laughs as I give the future audience a playful wink. Jisoo’s lips pull in; I hope it’s an attempt to hide a smile.

For a moment I lose myself in the questions, when I look back Jisoo has got that far away look again as she types on her phone. She’s lost in her world of music and for now I don’t hold the key to get inside.