Broken (a poem by Janette)

Broken

Broken.
That's how I feel.
The sound of your name breaking and shattering my heart.
Listening to every piece fall to the ground makes me emotionless.
Replaying those memories with you makes me feel an insane amount of pain.
Every second you told me you loved me, every moment you took the time to care, they all are left meaningless.
They say to move on you need closure but I simply can't.
I love you and only you.
You broke me yet I still love you just the same. The only difference is the pain I feel upon hearing about you that was created the moment you broke me.
You played me, used me, toyed with me like some little doll.
This shattered heart of mine can no longer prove me human.
I became your doll, and the price to pay is massive.
I became vulnerable.
Weak.
Broken.

Broken.
Thinking back to all the times, all those moments where we understood one another.
I cry.
Those times where you would comfort me and make me feel amazing.
Those times where despite you being thousands of miles away it felt like you were here listening to me.
Holding me.
Understanding me.
Speaking to me, you constantly put yourself down.
I ignored that.
Despite all your protests, I loved you.
To me, you were impeccable and nothing else mattered.
You were everything.
My everything.
I love you and I'll continue to.
Endlessly.
I love you so incredibly much yet now it's different.
Alongside my affection for you is also great hate.
Hate for the way you hurt others.
Hate for the lies you fed me.
One, by one.
Hate for every moment I spent time listening to you and caring.
Hate.
Immense hate.
An indescribable amount of hate.
I hate you.
I hate you and what you've made.
What you made out of me and my love to you.
What I am now.
Hurt, upset, Disappointed.
Broken.