Different Heroine (V1)

Is there a reason?

This feeling of longing for him never went away, It stayed there looming in the shadows...

My heart had settled on him, yet I had no courage, why is that? Why can't I act like myself around him?
Is it my premonition of rejection? Is it my own self telling me no? Is there a reason for me to stay away from him? Is what the universe describes as soulmates a fallacy? Had I found the wrong person?

So many questions about this...

Yet no answer. I had been trapped by the knowledge of no returning...

No response or answer came to me. I guess that's how it will be like from now on, so why Ayanokouji kun? Why be with her?

I see the way you look at her. I am not oblivious nor am I naive, I know how you feel about her and I wish that was the way you felt about me...

I can't give you a reason as to why you should, I can't give you a proper example of why you should...

Yet that feeling of longing was there...

I want you, yet you look for something you can't have... when I am right here.

Why look at her? A person who clearly loves another, does it not hurt you to see them together?Or is your love for her that strong? I for a second don't believe in that notion... you may look at her like that but you have something eerie behind that look...

It's something I can't describe but I can still feel it...

"Hahh" I breathed a sigh as I looked down dejected at my thoughts...

They have been together since the start of the year, she even introduced him to me at the start. Yet like the idiot I was back then I treated him like a person below me...

Now look who is infatuated with him... I guess this is karma, rightly deserved karma...

I regret it and I hope he has forgotten about it, if I stand a chance with him I have to act like a person who acknowledged him as an equal, maybe then he will see me as more than a friend...

"Are you still bummed out by Ayanokouji kun?" My friend Satsuki asked me that with a concerned look on her face, her words snapped me out of my thoughts as I was made aware of my surroundings once again.

I was in pallete cafe with Karuizawa san, Satsuki chan, Chiaki chan and Hirata kun. Looking around the table I could see them all looking at me expectantly as I started to form a sentence. My face dipped in expression and colour as I looked downwards, trying to hide my sullen expression from them.

Yet I knew that all of them would know how I felt, it was as clear as day due to my actions...

Karuizawa then spoke up before I could, her words cutting into my response as my ears tuned in to listen to her.

"That idiot is wasting his time with a girl like her when he could be with you? Honestly what a dumbass..." Her words contained contempt and mockery as she referenced Mii-chan, that girl who was infatuated with the boy in front of me had my crush wrapped around her little finger.

Hirata kun who was the target of Mii-chans affection moved to defend her. Whether it was because he found it repulsive or because he felt a need to do that.

Either way all the girls in class including myself knew about something she didn't and we found ourselves guilty for not telling her about it...

Hirata Kun didn't like her the same way she did.

It was so obvious yet the poor girl didn't notice t, or perhaps she already had....

That thought creeped itself inside my brain, had there been a possibility as to Mii-chan stringing a long Ayanokouji kun as the basis to this theory of mine?