lilienne, or lily as most call her, was never one to get into someone else's bussiness. she mainly kept to herself, mostly because of her social anxiety. she thought if someone wanted her to know something, hell, they'd tell her.
or at least she felt that way until she met michael clifford.
when she first saw him in her freshman year, she was intrigued. his unusual galaxy hair (or at least it was galaxy then) made her look twice. and once she looked into those soft green eyes, she knew she'd caught feelings for the pale boy.
they gradually became friends, despite him being 3 years older. he liked the way she smiled when she talked about dance, the way she would look at him like he was crazy when he'd dye his hair a new vibrant color.
it only took michael a few months to realize he loved her.
but it took lily longer. lily was lonely and wanted to feel loved. so, that's how she found blake. she loved him with everything she had, he was her first - well, everything. but blake wasn't good for her, and michael knew that.
michael tried to tell her blake was a bad influence, that he'd only hurt her in the end, but lily was blind to all his flaws, and trust me, he had many flaws.
for one, he was the most well-known drug dealer in town. mainly marijuana, but he dabbled in cocaine and ecstacy, all of which he'd grown infatuated with.
don't get me wrong, blake was in love wih lily. but he loved his life style more.
he loved the feeling of being completely out of it. he loved feeling nothing. but lily didn't aprove, or at least she didn't until he tricked her into trying ecstacy.
she was a mess, the ecstacy lead to getting drunk, which lead to her cheating on blake with some guy at the party he'd convinced her to attend with him.
blake found out and, needless to say he was pissed.
a few shoves and slaps later, and lily was walking home alone, intoxicated well over the legal limit.
and thats how she ended up at michael's house at 2 am on a friday.
she was too out of it to hear yelling, and as always, she just walked right in through the front door, which is how she figured out why michael ocasionally came to school with injuries.
she'd only met michael's mother once, and she seemed like a nice woman. lily never knew she was capable of what she witnessed that night.
the yelling stopped when lily walked into the kitchen, where she saw michael leaning against the wall, clutching his nose, which was gushing blood. shattered glass covered the floor near the counter top his mother was standing by.
karen, michael's mother, quickly left the house, not returning until the next day.
michael and lily never spoke of the occurence again, but mostly because michael thought she was too intoxicated to remember and lily thought it was all in her imagination. but the more michael came to school hurt in someway, the more she doubted that it didn't really happen.
lily was concerned, and michael never told her anything. she began to research ways to help, but nothing seemed natural. she didn't want to scare him off.
but when blake forgave lily and nearly forced her to get back together with him, michael snapped.
he loved her, god damnit. why couldn't she see that?
maybe she did. maybe she didn't reciprocate the feelings, and thats why she never said anything about it.
michael was insecure and sad and sick of being overlooked and hurt. the voices in his head got worse when lily and him got in their biggest fight yet. it started with michael begging her to leave blake, but she'd developed a dependancy on him. he gave her weed for free and bought her alcohol with his fake ID.
that was the other thing, lily began to become reliant on alcohol. she was going through a hard time, her parents were in the midst of a divorce, her sister, whom was like her best friend, was leaving for college in only a few months. her sister had got into a university in spain. fucking spain. meaning she'd probably never get to see her, not even talk to her much because of the time difference.
and last but not least, blake hadn't been very nice to her. the only time that he'd hang out with her, he'd expect them to have sex. lily was 16, she wasn't even ready her first time, at 15. blake had pressured her into it. but lily loved him.
or so she thought.
things fell apart after michael demanded that lily broke up with blake. lily ended their fight with, "you're not my fucking father. i'll fuck who i want, it's my business, not yours. just leave me alone already."
and so he did.
he went home, got screamed at by his mother about his teacher calling home again, reporting about his misbehavior in class.
he went up to his room and looked in his mirror. karen had called him worthless again.
a mistake.
her biggest regret.
michael took a deep breath and swallowed some pills.
1,
2,
3,
only stopping once he'd finished the once full bottle.
he felt dizzy and tired. his stomach was doing flips.
what had he done? he didn't really want this, he wasn't thinking.
his mouth feels dry as he tries to get done stairs as quickly as he can with he room spinning like it is.
"mom? mom, im sorry, im so sorry. i don't know what i was thinking, im sorry. please call 911, i don't want to die, im sorry. i love you, im so so sorry." michaels words started to slur as the black dotts clouded his vision. he felt himself slipping away.
karen abruptly got up, "what are you talking about? what did you do michael?"
karen got out her phone and dialled an ambulence with shaky hands.
"i-i fucked up, im so-" michael suddenly couldn't form words anymore. his vision turned black but he still heard his mom asking for an ambulence through her confused tears.
.
lily didn't hear about michael's death until a day later.
she wore a black dress to his funeral.
she wore red lipstick, he always said she looked beautiful with it.
she sat in silence as karen spoke about her undying love for her son.
bullshit.
she watched as his casket lowered into the ground.
more bullshit.
who's idea was it to put our loved ones into the dirt? the thought makes her feel sick.
she nods at people when they give her their condolences.
they came up to her one by one and she laughed to herself.
none of these people liked michael. in fact, some hated him, called him a freak. but of course, the second he takes his own life, everyone mourns him as if they cared when he was alive.
she walked across the cemetery and sits under a random willow tree. she removes the flask from her purse and chugs it.
michaels not gone. hes not. there's no way. he was just here. this is all just a dream, her subconscience telling her to makeup with her best friend.
but the thumping of her heart and the tears in her eyes told her differently.
.
if u read my other book (tlp) then u know what this is about :-)
