Numbered

Left Alone

There is a house in the middle of nowhere, large enough above ground to house twenty families.  Continuing on that large number, there are thousands just like it, scattered over the span of three countries.  Now, picture this: all of them getting the exact same message at the exact same second, each reading about how a miracle has occurred.  I wouldn’t nearly go that far, but I was still honored.  Now, the entire demon population knows that their lost princess has returned.

                That was an hour ago, and it was the easy part.

                “Kya?” My brother called from my right, his voice reeking with power and confidence.

                His hands were placed tightly on my newly washed shoulders, tugging me in a certain direction, which I think led outside.

                I stayed silent, my mouth pressed into a thin line, waiting for the inevitable.

The cool breeze swept through my hair, sending a thousand tiny needles through my skin.  My bare feet hit the grass, the dew clinging to my toes.  I smiled mentally, enjoying the fresh feeling that I hadn’t gotten in so long.  I took a deep breath, the morning air propelling life into my heart.

“So, sis,”  Aleck started, his rough voice condescending,  “Are you okay?  Do you like it here?”

I didn’t respond, repressed anger boiling inside me.

He sighed loudly,  “Just let it out, it’s healthy to feel anger toward the people who didn’t have to suffer like you,”  the tone of his voice drove me over the edge.

“Your right, you didn’t suffer like me, or like mom, or like dad, or like every single person still inside that godforsaken castle!  You left us, because your little girlfriend wasn’t smart or brave enough to walk through a portal!”  I yelled, ripping out of his grip.

The air swelled with tension, making it hard to breathe.

“Kya,”  He warned, but it was too late.  Every single feeling and thought I had about him for five years came pouring out.

“Don’t you ‘Kya’ me, Aleck!  Mom and Dad practically begged you to stay there with them, to help fight off the angel army!  They pleaded with you to help them, but you just left!  Like it was nothing!  And what was your reason?  You didn’t want to, you wanted to stay with Jayla, and make sure she settled in well in a different world!  Do you realize what you were letting go of when you abandoned your family?  Were you there to hear your father call for you while he was getting attacked?  His hope for you died along with him!  And mom, she was literally ten feet away from Earth when she got cut open!  You could’ve done so much, you could’ve saved them.  You could’ve saved me.”

He was silent, and I remained frozen as the first drops of rain fell from the sky, pelting us with tears of all those we lost.  It stretched on for ages, until the rain turned to pouring, and the ground turned to mud, puddles growing around our feet.

After an eternity, he spoke again, his voice unsteady and broken, “One day, you’ll understand why I sacrificed my family for my love.  One day, you’ll do the same, because if you had a choice, you’d always save him over us, because that’s how love works.  It will tear you apart with guilt, but you know you wouldn’t have done anything differently no matter how many times you have to relive it.  It will always be them over everyone else.  And when that time comes, I hope you make peace with everyone you love before you throw them into the fire.  If you don’t, it will haunt you for the rest of your existence.  

"I can't apologize to mom, or dad, or anyone else on that side of the portal that we had to lock out, but I'm lucky enough to still have you.  I can promise you that I will spend the rest of my life apologizing.  I know it will never be enough, but I wasn't enough of a brother and son to stay behind, and I'm sorry I'll let you down again.  I love you Kya, but you'll never matter as much to me as Jayla will, and for that, I will be forever sorry.  If there is ever another circumstance where I have to choose, at least you know who I'd pick.  I don't expect or want forgiveness, because I know however much you tell me 'it's okay', it never will be.  One day, you'll say the same thing to me.”