Tear Stains (Sirius Black x reader)

Prologue

Y/N sobbed, digging her nails into the palms of her hands as she shook. Ragged breathing escaped her lips as tears choked the air from her lungs, causing her to gasp painfully. A fire of shame and pain burned in her heart, but her fingers were numb with cold. She no longer had the strength to support herself, legs collapsing beneath her as she slid down the wall. Waves of tears rolled down on her face, burning her skin in their salty trails of anguish. The cold seeped through her robes as she curled into herself, hoping to melt into the ancient flagstones, hoping it would all just end. She cursed herself repeatedly. What a fool to be the next girl who actually believe the wanker. And now she was slumped against the wall of a dusty unused corridor, drowning in her pain, revelling in the way her heart seemed to physically rip apart within her. Part of her had expected this, wanted this maybe. Merlin, she was so fucked up. Of course, that's why she'd gone for the guy who was sure to break her heart. She'd thought maybe it would last; she'd be the one to change him. How naïve.

Hurried footsteps echoed down the main corridor and she was momentarily startled out of wallowing in her self-pity; everyone should have been at dinner, that's why she had ventured out in hopes of finding some secluded area where she could mope alone. She prayed that the person would continue on their path, but the footsteps increased in volume as they came running towards her and skidded to a stop in front of her hunched figure. Y/N glanced at the slightly ragged yet highly polished shoes in front of her.

"What do you want, Lupin?" she whispered tearfully, sniffling slightly. "Here to laugh at me for being so stupid and ignorant?"

"Of course not."

Remus slipped down next to her, putting his arm around her shoulders as she leant into him. There was a sort of rawness to her crying like a deep wound had been reopened. Her sobs were stifled at first as she tried to kid herself that she was fine, everything was okay. She didn't want show anyone how much she ached from within, but he was just so reassuring. His warm woollen sweater was soft beneath her damp cheek and he smelled like old books and a soft cologne. Y/N buried her face into his shoulder, grasping at the sweater, collapsing into her grief. She balled Remus's shirt in her hands, grasping at it like he was her only anchor as she flailed, drowning in the pain. He rubbed small circles into her back, encouraging her to let it out. He didn't know how long they sat like that until she stilled, turning her face up to him, eyes red-rimmed as she gave him a watery smile.

Giggles and whispered words reached her ears as James Potter and Florence Alward rounded the corner. Of all the self-absorbed, lying prats to turn up, it would be that arsehole. Burying her face further into Remus' shoulder, she hoped they were too gone to even notice their presence. James stumbled over them huddled together on the floor, he reeked of Firewhisky. Seeing them together, his face curled into a drunken snarl and he laughed bitterly.

"Of course! What could I expect?" he slurred, tongue tripping over his words. "You're trying to sleep with one of my best mates! You whore. Did you really think such a pitiful move would make me jealous? And make me come crawling back, begging for your forgiveness? You're really taking the piss now, just because you're a minger and can't get another man."

"Oh, fuck off James." Y/N spat, fire curling beneath her tongue. Calling her a minger was low; of course, she could get a bloke if she wanted to! But she'd always been told she was unattractive by her mother as she hadn't inherited the sharp features of her family and James knew she still felt sore from all those years of insults. It was a low blow for sure.

"No, no, I want to know what's happening. Go on, spill the beans." He goaded, laughing. His smirk had once been something she found incredibly attractive, an instant turn-on but now there was a cruel and mocking look in his eyes accompanying it, causing her heart to shrivel in her chest. "You went for the one you thought couldn't get a girl, the one I'd be most hurt by? You're so bloody petty."