She didn't plan on sleeping anyway.
Though as the hours crept from the night to the early am, seeing sun begin to peak through the blinds she could feel her body functioning naturally. With time her eyelids begin to get heavier, the sound coming from the tv began to grow distant. Desperately her body wanted to fall asleep.
There was some time at the borderline of morning and night where she almost gave in, her eyelids finally sealing, her lips faintly apart as she slowly was dragged away into REM. But it seemed almost the second her eyes was closed all she could see was terrible visions. All sorts of renditions of her murder played out in her mind in some sort of vicious cycle.
What struck her the most was how normal they started to her.
Her in the car, passenger side as she drove through a sunny desert with someone in the drivers'. She'd look over to the person beside her in the drivers seat, a content smile on her lips as she looked to them and then towards the backseat where her son slept peacefully.
It started off great, her being on a family road trip, happy. Until the dream took a turn. Next thing she knew, she was standing behind the car turned away from her son, her hands in the air with a gun against her temple.
And when he shot, she woke up.
Even though now, that dream was hours ago it still triggered her. She'd been up since then, fighting sleep while blankly watching the kiddy cartoons that played on the small motel flat screen. Somewhere in between one of the programs her baby who was sleeping on her chest began to wake up with a light fussy cry.
She sat him, propping him on the cushion beside her as she reached over for her diaper bag to retrieve everything she needed to change him. After getting him changed and wiping his whole body down she dressed him in a fresh onesie, feeding him a bottle to keep him occupied along with the cartoons.
She stood up from the couch, grabbing her own toothbrush and toothpaste to brush her teeth now that she'd really been up. Just as she had the sink water running she could faintly hear him on the phone on the opposite side of the bedroom door.
She thought about it for a while, her mind contemplating if she wanted to risk getting caught ear hustlin'. But she knew he wouldn't be telling her shit, and she could use any information she could get for her own advantage. So that's what made her press her ear to the door, being able to make out some of the contents of his call.
She'd been too late to the party though, the call abruptly ending not even minutes after she began to listen in. Fearful he might've heard her or something, she rushed back over to the sink, continuing to brush her teeth.
Not too much time passed by before she heard him come out the room. She continued to play her role up, as if she wasn't just listening in on his call moments prior. "Morning," She greeted, no real emotion or sincerity behind her words whatsoever.
He ignored her, putting his other arm into his Moncler before heading over to the door and leaving again.
He didn't give her any details about where he'd been headed, when he'd be back. She thought maybe listening in on him wasn't a good idea now. He probably heard her running back or something, she didn't even get to hear much out of the call anyway.
While he'd been gone she was left to battle out the questions in her head.
More time than she thought had passed. Playing with her baby, putting him back to sleep every time he woke up, surfing the limited motel tv channels, even downloading those promoted games that popped up on ads onto the burner phone he gave her, hours passed and there wasn't more she could do to keep herself occupied.
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