In a Small Quiet Spot

Dead Blame

Journal of Stan Clarke Entry 1

I'm not crazy.
I'm not, I just ... Have different thoughts.
I tell people what I see, I guess I'm stupid for that.
You see, when you think you're all alone and safe, when you think no one could find you. He does.
Or it.
It started a few years back.
Nothing much at first. I wouldn't even notice him. Him and that grin of his. It was haunting the first time I saw it.
More like razors than teeth.
More like rubber than lips.
More glass than eyes.
My psychologist asked me to write this, I will start seeing her twice a week.
They think they can "help" me.
I don't need it.
She is pretty.
I mean not in a creepy stalker way! I know I said I'm not crazy, but I'm not crazy that way either.
She just told me to write what I think and don't erase anything so... I'm going to go back to him.
Him
That f*cking monster.
He stands over my bed when I sleep. All with that grin. I don't think he knows that I'm awake when he does it.
It's getting late, this stuff they have me on makes me slow
Makes me sleepy.

Journal of Stan Clarke entry 36

He is here... I'm writing this as fast as I can he is coming down the hall.
I'm as good as dead.
I know who he is. I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
It's my fault,
It's my fault s
It's my fault sh
It's my
He here
Eyes at my window, glassy cold eyes
Sharp teeth
Sharp teeth
Blood stained.
Everyone else is
Gone.
No help is coming
No hope here.

Journal of Stan Clarke entry 11

I have done this once a day for over a week now.
It's getting old.
Blah blah
Him
Blah blah
It's my birth day.
I am now
*drum roll*
Twenty three.
Woop woop
To bad I'm stuck in here.
Not a great way t spend my birthday
Lucky I was not alone for all of it,
My psychologist came by,
She knew it was my birth day and she brought me some cake,
It was nice.
I felt... Normal again.
Funny how a you can forget your in prison, or close enough.
It's low security. They think I'm crazy.
They forget I'm smart.
I have four ways of escaping planed in my head.
I was about to go to college when they arrested me.
I didn't do it.
Non of it.
It was him.
Those teeth.
Like knives.
Those eyes.
Like glass.
Those lips.
Like rubber.
He is made of lies, my therapist says, I created him to escape from what I had done. Like I did any of it at all.
No one believes me.
No one ever will.

Journal of Stan Clarke entry 23
My therapist wants me to say what I did.
I didn't do it.
I will tell you what I didn't do.
I didn't kill my students.
I didn't kill my friends
I didn't kill my... Lover.
I didn't do anything.
It wasn't him either.
Just in case you were wondering.
It was a student of mine.
He was unstable I saw it when he walked into my studio.
I should have sent him away.
He became obsessed with me.
He looked a bit like me after a few months.
Grew his hair to match mine.
Bought the same clothes.
Even talked with my same accent.
He barged into my studio and went to my office.
He said that he would be me now.
He had a gun
A big gun.
Another student came in to see what was happening.
He gunned them all down.
He saved me for last.
It was his only mistake.
I grabbed him from behind.
I choked the life out of him.
He died I lived.
He bought the gun with my Credit card.
He knew my pin.
He had my drivers license.
I thought I had just lost my wallet.
I was wrong.
The cops blamed me for the mess.
It was a bloody mess.
I became the mop.
The media convicted me before the jury had a go.
By the time the court had started it was decided.
My lawyers made me plea insanity.
I didn't want to die.
That was my other option.
I will never be free.
I'm dead already.
No family, no friends, no hope.
And he sat in the gallery.

Journal of Stan Clarke entry ////
This is all my fault.
I'm writing this one off the record.
I know who he is.
He is my hell.
For what I did do.
I asked for help once.
Help from a bad man.
It's how I got my studio.
And once I had covers our tracks.
He never saw it coming.
It was so long ago.
So long.
He was tall in life.
So bad.
He would kill the family's of those that didn't pay him back.
They called him tooth.
I looked like just another scared little boy.
I was 15 when I killed him.
I found out where he lived.
I slit his thought while he slept
I hate evil.
Now he is back.
To repay me.
It's all my fault.
He will kill them all.
He will kill her.
Any one he can.
He was a evil man in life.
A monster after that.