dave was working his job in HELLMART, the only issue was it was getting a little bit boring skinning and cutting up those customers. dave heads to the back of the walmart trying to find something he can do to pass the time WITHOUT HIS BOSS YELLING AT HIM!!
dave rumages around find a thing of.... KEBABS?? dave goes FUCKING NUTS, KEBABS IN FUCKING HELLMART? the last kebabs they had in stock was out,.
so find these kebabs was HEAVEN!! dave being fucking hyped rippes the box open WITH FULL FUCKING FORCE, hes fucking drooling all over the fucking cardboard box.
grabbing a shit ton of them and running off to the fucking random ass grill in the back to cook them, he throws coal he stole from the local TLS that he robbed a few days back, he lights it all BURNING HIS FUCKING KEBABS!! he starts fucking crying like a bitch while he kicks over the GIRLL
"MY FUCKING KEBABS, WHAT THE FUCK" dave screams crying like a toddler "NOW ITS ALL FUCKING BURNT AND RUINED WHAT THE FUCK AM I GOING TO DO??!!" dave yells
he picks up the kebabs not giving a shit AND FUCKING EATING ALL OF THE KEBABS, he failed to look at the box,,, the kebabs were... EXPIRED FOR 2 YEARS. dave fucking sobs
"AW HELL NAW.. THE FUCKING KEBABS WERE EXPRIED!!" dave freaks leaning on a rack
but little did dave know.. THE EXPIRED KEBABS GOT HIM PREGNANT?? WHAT THE FUCK? dave FREAKS OUT AND GOES INSANE, HOW COULD THE KEBABS GET IM PREGNANT? at this point dave was going CRAZY.
dave bursts out of the back room of walmart running like a mad man to the front of the store leaning on a cash register SCREAMING "HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THOSE KEBABS???11!!"
dave fucking slams his hands down on the conveyor belt and pushes all the fucking items on it getting on top of it screaming
screaming dave says "IM GOING TO FUCKING GIVE BIRTH ON THIS FUCKING CONVEYOR BELTT!!" dave says as his FUCKING WATER BREAKS!!
"sir im going to have to ask you to get off of there for the greater good of america." IT WAS FUCKING OBAMA, HE WAS BUYING FUCKING WONDERBREAD AT HELLMART????!!!11???
dave ignores the request fucking sobbing as hes giving BIRTH IN A FUCKING WALMART. ALL HE WANTED WAS KEBABS...NO ONE WAS HERE TO FUCKING HELP HIM,,
dave knowing full well he can't drive to the hospital because.. he only has a bike he starts fucking giving birth there and now causing a whole ass fucking scene in the hellmart.. "HNGHHH AW HELL NAW FAM, THIS FUCKING HURTS" he screams in agony.
he keeps pushing trying his best to not scream anymore before hellmart ends up getting a noise complant when finally IT FUCKING COMES OUT. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT,, WHAT THE FUCK"
the baby was a kebab... all of a sudden a fimillar voice is heared in the distant "hello everybody my name is markiplier, i came to take your baby" IT WAS FUCKING MARKIPLIER. he was holding a juge of expired spoiled milk in one of his hands
"AW FUCK, MARKIPLIER IS HERE." dave screeches giving him his baby as mark gives him the spoiled milk. mark starts breatfeeding the baby kebab somehow (don't fucking ask me how) dave drinks the expired milk because it was a gift from mark..
markiplier gives back daves baby, as he holds it "i love him...im going to call him... gordon ramsy.." dave fucking cries like a infant baby.
i want to go home now please, this was a nightmare to write... im not going to write anymore after this i hope </3 im sobbing and crying
YOU ARE READING
dave gives brith in hellmart REAL?
Humordave eats expired kebabs and somehow gets preg
