Romeo and Romeo

Nope

A/n- it wouldn't be an angst gay book without a take me to church song recommendation and I think this chapter is the best for it

Nope, no, nope, fuck, no, my mind could apparently only process obscenities and different forms of the word "no" which was fair. I ditched into the bathroom because I was not going to face Romeo after literally moaning in front of him. That was just not going to happen. So I sat in a stall and called the one person who might be able to help.
Ring...ring...ring...click
"Okay so first you ditch me, I had to get a ride from my fucking sister, and then you call me in the middle of first period so it better be important because otherwise I'm going to beat you to death" oh... so he was mad
"Romeo kissed one of my bruises and I moaned, loud, and then I ran away, and now I'm in a bathroom" I heard a sigh on the other side of the line.
"I told you so, you're gay, you like Romeo, somehow in your coke riddled brain you interpreted your feelings as hate, and now you're having a gay panic" I hung up. That was a mistake of course Vesper wouldn't help.
So I stayed in that bathroom, panicking for what seemed like hours, until second period came around. Then I debated going and decided, no Romeos in there. So I sat there and cried, I couldn't be gay, no fucking way, my dad tried to send away Lola for being a lesbian, and he always made it clear that gay men were worse than lesbians. He thought lesbians were at least "hot" gag but to him gay men, they were worse. To him they were abominations, pedophiles, disgusting, sinners, to him they deserved death. If I was gay he would kill me, I'm going to die, he's going to kill me, that's it, all because some stupid pretty boy got partnered with me for some stupid fucking project and we shared a smoke, I was going to be murdered. Great
The bathroom door opened and a familiar sharp voice rang in my ears "Marcus, dude, you can't hide in a bathroom all day"
I don't know when exactly I started crying, but I wiped my tears and sniffled "I will hide in this bathroom until I'm old and die" a chuckle could be heard outside the stall.
"Dude, no, you aren't, being gay isn't the worst, look at me I'm happy and I have a boyfriend"
"You're a crack addict and your parents accept you, this is different, you know what my dad did to Lola, this is bad, really, really bad Vesper, really really fucking bad" the sobs came back and without waiting for me to open the stall, Vesper slipped under like the little goblin he is.
"Hey, hey you're gonna be okay, if he kicks you out you can just come stay at my place, my parents love you they wouldn't care" I sniffled again because of course Vesper doesn't get it.
"Ves, he wouldn't kick me out" I looked up now, into Vespers eyes "he would kill me"
This seemed to shake him and he just reached out and held onto me holding me as sobs racked my body, he held me for the rest of that class period.
"I've gotta go back and get my stuff from the classroom, you should really come to third period" I shook my head no, I would not budge on this.
Vesper left the bathroom and presumably went on with his day, checking on me in between class periods to make sure I was okay, I was not "okay".
At one point Romeo entered the bathroom, he knocked on the stall I was in, but I didn't answer, I couldn't answer.
"Marcus, Marcus please, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I-I shouldn't have done that, I-I didn't know you'd have this reaction, really please, please forgive me, Marcus" another round of sobs came from my mouth, stupid fucking Romeo trying to make everything okay, but nothings okay. This all started because he wanted to make everything okay with my bruises, if he wasn't so fucking nice none of this would've happened.
"Stop, fucking stop, stop being nice, stop caring about me, just fucking leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you, I'll finish the project on my fucking own, and I'll just send it to you" there is goes again, that feeling in my gut, but it was drowned out quickly by the hatred that bubbled up shortly after. I don't even know who or what I hated at that point. Did I hate Romeo? Me? My dad? This project? The teacher that assigned us together? Most likely all of the above. Romeo left the bathroom again. The tears never stopped though.
The last bell rang, and with that school was over, fucking finally. I left the bathroom and made a bee-line for my car.
But there was Vesper, already at the passengers side waiting for me. I ignored him and got in the car, he apparently couldn't take the fucking hint because he got in the car too.
"Maaarrrrrcusssss, talk to meeeeee~"
"Shut the fuck up"
"You need to talk about it, to Lola at least, she'll understand the most about your... situation"
"Fuck off, that would just worry her"
"But she would be able to help"
"No." And then I started the car and we drove in silence. I dropped Vesper off at his house, and drove.
I don't know exactly how long I drove but it was already dark and had been for awhile by the time I pulled up to my house. I put my head down on the steering wheel and took a deep breath. Fuck this. I pulled back out the driveway and drove more. I was not dealing with my dad right now, I couldn't, not today. I found myself yet again near Romeos street. He's the last person I want to see, why the fuck did I drive here. I pulled into a nearby parks parking lot, I could probably sleep in my backseat if I curled up enough. My phone rang fuck, it was Lola, she was probably dealing with a shitstorm at home from me not coming back. I answered after a minute of debating.
"Lola?"
"Where the fuck are you" her voice had that mom tone to it that scares the ever loving shit out of me, in an affectionate way.
"At a park"
"Why aren't you at home it's almost midnight?"
"I-I don't think I can deal with dad today"
"You'll have to see him eventually, the more you wait the more pissed he'll be" okay, that was very true, but it didn't change the fact that I just figured out I was attracted to boys and my dad thinks the only way to deal with male homosexuality is murder
"... Lola are you alone right now"
"Uhhh yeah why"
"I think I'm gay"
"Thought so, is this the big revelation that led to you not coming home"
"Yes"
"Just get home and we can talk about it later, I love you, I'm proud of you, you're still my favorite brother" this did bring a smile to my face, the only one I've had since this morning.
I drove home, terrified, shaking, my tears had dried and left little track marks down my face, my eyes were red rimmed, I finished the remainder of my coke at the park so that did not help the disheveled look I had going on.

A/n- AND FINALLY Marcus realizes he is fruity, now onto the struggle that comes with that, this everyone is where the fluff will basically all taper off, so get prepared, get tissues, get a comfort stuffed animal, whatever you need <3