10 Months Of You

Ninth Month

November, this month was one of the best months too even though we had our ups and downs and arguments we were still down for each other. This was also the time I was preparing to come back and see her which she didn't know and I was planning on surprising her but I guess she knew that I was coming back to see her anyway the way I was saying that I wasn't going to be coming for Christmas.

I remember we stayed over the phone all the time even when I was at work and there was no service still tried my best to stay on the phone with her she wanted to be on the phone while I was at work so she could kind of see what I do and hear what I do, I found it really weird at first but it was cool always having her by my side that was also when I was letting myself go still had a godly physique but it wasn't as defined as it used to be she told me I need to get back in the gym but I was feeling lazy but I eventually got back. I remember that was also the month that she kept beating me and my games and I was getting mad because like she never beat me like this ain't no way I'm just one in five that was not sitting right with me but either way she had a good time playing a game with me talking to me. This was also the time I got more involved in what she wanted to do since she wanted to be a nurse asking her if there's any programs that she could do in school like health class or find any volunteer places that they take yeah I was just really in-depth with her and she loved that I was trying to better herself because I wanted to see her groom and I want to grow with her too.

She always said that she's better than me yet all these things which I knew some of them were not true but I like to give her the benefit of the doubt because I like to see her try and I admire her boldness and just all around everything that she did it just made me smile always made my day, especially when she gets to tell her little brothers to shut the hell up that'd be funny. My favorite memory in November that I have is when she watched me play my games when I used to stream on YouTube and she was being really supportive of it even though it was only her that watched it it just made me feel happy that she was supportive of it and she found it funny even though I wasn't like talking to her she found that I just be me when I stream and I don't try to be funny. That's the one thing I know she loved the most about me that I don't try to be funny and it just happens I don't try you know to be somebody I'm not that I'm just me and I love that about her too and I still love it about her I love everything about her how she just was her and she didn't try to be anybody else but her and I fell in love with her I fell in love with her mind her personality and then everything else fell in place. It was like she was sent from the universe herself and I realize that but that's when things started going downhill towards the end of November I found out that my closest friend has passed and I didn't take it so well because I just talked to him yesterday and now he's gone and that was really tough for me to process and I did talk to her about it and she always told me not to do that stubborn stuff I always do which means that I don't need to be caring unnecessary weight on my shoulders when I have help or when I don't need to carry it at all.

But knowing me I just felt like I had to carry it and just deal with it for now until I came to terms that it's not so bad but it ain't me alive just was overwhelmed with this news right before I went to sleep and I wish I was not pushing her away I needed her the most but I didn't want to let her see me this way so I thought it was best if I just was alone not breaking up wise but just alone I just needed time to process things but I really should have kept her around if I could I would apologize for it, for making her be alone even though she was trying her best to help. But I realize this and I've opened more towards her because it wasn't her fault I can't blame her and I kept blaming myself that I wish I was there and she kept telling me you know got something I couldn't control and even if I was there what could have I done and I guess she was right about that too she wasn't trying to be mean she was trying to make me get out of that mood what she did and I still think her for it but December was going into a tough time but that's also when the most memories have been made too. That's when everything really counted and that's when everything just slowly started to fall in place.

Authors Note: hey guys and girls thanks for reading this chapter this is about to be the final chapter I'm working on and it's going to be a little no not for you but for a very special person out there it will be in the next chapter so hope you guys enjoy this short story and girls too and like I said if you can relate to how I feel I'm glad and I'm just glad I can share my feelings and hopefully things will get better from here. After you guys read the short story check out my other story The legend of Nanashi I'm working on that story too so you don't mean a lot if you check that story out too.