Visions

Vision

It was Emily's wedding day

I've watched her love for this man grow and grow over the last year

I sat down in the second row, just behind her soon to be step mum and son

Soon after we were all standing as the she walked down the aisle

Her silky white dress clung to her sides and flowed out from the waist down

She was beautiful

She was perfect

She was my everything

The ceremony was everything I had dreamed of her having

There wasn't a dry eye in sight

The happy couple exchanged their vows, kissed and walked back down the aisle

Her glance comes towards me

Its like our eyes locked

Oh how I would wish it was me linked to her arm

I follow the other guests to the reception

We partied all night long

Their white cake was taller than them

With pale pink flowers as decor

The cake was strawberry flavoured

It was the flavour her and I would always order

All the happy memories of us as a couple came flooding through

The cold nights snuggled together and the warm morning beach walks

I back out of the room

Hopefully she won't notice

A tear falls from my eye

Was I really this jealous

It was late at night when the happy couple went home

Her new stepsons family was complete again

I follow back and lay down on their couch

They didn't care when I stayed the night

Emily gets into the same silk pajamas she wore the last time we were together

I smile at the thought of her

I still loved Emily

I still loved my Emily Thorne

The next morning Emily woke early

It was the same time as every other day

I notice her creeping around the kitchen trying not to wake the people in the house

She grabs her keys and heads for the car

Where could she be going

I race up from the couch and climb into the backseat

Luckily she went to grab her coat in the meantime

She clicks her seat belt in and drives down the road

Past Nolan's house

Past Grayson Manor

Past town

Where was she heading

Finally her car comes to a stop

I look around

Why was she at the cemetery

She grabs three roses off of the seat beside her and walks through the rows

She pauses and looks at one of the Grayson names

I stand beside her and watch her gaze go down to Daniel's name

She smiles and then continues on

She stops at Amanda's grave

Placing a rose down on her name

She goes to the next grave

It was her fathers

And like last time, places a rose down

Who was the last rose for

She goes down to the end and stops

Bending down she gently places the rose on the gravestone

"I miss you my love" she whispers, a tear dropping from her eye

She kisses her finger and places it on the name

I bend over her and look at the stone

Aiden Mathis 1984-2013

It was me

Suddenly the world pauses

Everything starts to not have feelings

She never left me, I left her

She bursts into tears and starts repeating one sentence

"I'm so sorry, it's all my fault"

All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around her frail body

Sooth her and tell her she doesn't have to apologise

Place my hands on her cheeks and make her look into my eyes

Remind her that none of this is her fault and that she needs to stop blaming herself

But I can't do that

She can't see me

Or hear me

She doesn't know that this wasn't her fault

That's what she taught herself to believe

She's being forced to blame herself for my death when I know it wasn't her

I didn't get the chance to tell her how much I loved her before I left

I couldn't tell her what happened

Now she is suffering with the loss of me

Instead of being able to enjoy her life

That she so deserves