It Meets You Where You Wait • Yeonbin

TWELVE

As a young boy, Soobin was always gentle, and never caused any trouble. Now that he's almost thirteen, he's allowed to go out for longer, and takes full advantage of it. He likes to wander through the grass fields, and sit amongst them to read his books. He likes the brush of the daisies against his ankles, their softness, their easy swaying.

Sometimes he spends all day in them.

They sweep against his legs while he bumbles forward, as he swings a basket of food in one hand.

Next to him, his grandmother walks. She's started to slow her pace over the years, relying more and more on Soobin's hand holding hers to keep balance. She's growing older, gradually.

They settle on the patch of grass that Soobin had found a few days ago while exploring. Soobin lays his blanket down and helps his grandmother sit. They've brought different fruit, an assortment of food, and water.

Soobin knows they won't stay for long, because she is quickly fatigued nowadays, and will probably want to retire soon. But he doesn't mind if they spend only twenty minutes there. He's happy to spend any time at all.

It's spring. He feels his feet pound against the dirt as he runs around, chasing a butterfly that was flying around them.

When it eventually flies too high and too far for Soobin to pursue, he gives up with a huff.

"They're much too quick for you," she says behind him.

"I coulda got it," he says, plopping down next to her on the blanket. The sun is high above them, lighting the entire field, but not quite hot enough to be uncomfortable.

"Ah, but what would you do then? You don't get to admire it anymore, hm?"

He nods solemnly. "Yeah. I just wanted it to land on me. I would've let it go, of course."

"Well, Soobin, we can't always control what comes to us," she says warmly. She hands him a water bottle. "You spent a lot of energy running around. Hydrate."

He gulps the water down, feeling immensely less tired. While he's screwing the cap back on, he sees it.

"Grandma! Oh— look!" He whispers excitedly, pointing at the tree line.

She follows his hand, and whispers back, "Oh, wow."

There's a doe sniffing along the bushes just before the field. She has spotted white flecks along her snout, leaf-shaped ears twisting quickly as she listens to her surroundings. She moves slowly, unbothered by their presence, relaxed.

Soobin turns his head to look at his grandmother again. "She's beautiful, huh?"

His grandmother replies, "Yes, she is."

But this time, she's not looking at him.

She's looking at the doe, and the doe is looking at her.

—

His eyes open slowly.

Breathing in deeply, he basks in the sunlight falling through his blinds, the birds tweeting from outside.

He dreamt of his grandmother again.

How odd. He's found that, historically, he dreams of his grandmother when he's afraid; It's like his brain comforts himself with her image. But what's odd is that for perhaps the first time, he doesn't feel afraid, and yet she still comes to him.

He doesn't know what it means. Nevertheless, he's comforted.

—

When he climbs into his car, he settles into the seat and stops to fiddle with the radio. He's just finished grocery shopping, a good few bags lining the back seat.