"MY name is Juno, and I'm an addict." Everyone greeted the girl as she stood at the podium. She didn't really know what to say, how she started taking drugs. Why she started taking them? She didn't know. "I started taking drugs at fourteen. I haven't been properly sober in months, apart from these past few days when airport security made me sit in a room to sober up. I did drugs because they made me feel happy, they made me feel euphoria. Plus the fact it's been a month since I got out of rehab."
Taking a deep breath, Juno looked over the crowd. "My friend Rue, she's an addict like me and she OD'd. Her sister found her in a heap on her bedroom floor, everybody was worried about her. And as soon as she came out of rehab she started getting high again." She took a deep breath. "So i joined her, doing Molly, coke, but the best high I ever had was with fentanyl. Nothing was like it. Apart from him, being with the man I loved, there was nothing as addicting as being with him."
A few women in the crowd agreed. "I want to be sober for him because I did some fucked up shit when I was high and I wanna go back and I wanna apologise to him but I don't know what to say. Do I say hey I'm sorry for fucking my ex whilst I was on coke? Do I say I'm sorry for being a hypocrite and yelling at you because you fucked Faye? We weren't even together but I love him, with everything I have in me and I want to be with him. But I'm scared I'm gonna fuck it all up again because I won't be sober. Thank you." People clapped and Juno put her hood back up and moved to the back of the room again.
When the session was over, Juno took her signed slip and went to stand outside. She'd already been to AA this morning and this was her session of NA. She felt changed. She felt depressed. She smoked cheap boxes of cigarettes from the discount store because that's the only thing her mom would buy her.
Honestly? Juno was surprised her family were as supportive as they were. They sent her upstate to rehab, designed her a room, helped with her recovery every day. Hell even Matty knew she was struggling and helped her. "Good job in there kid." Someone praised, walking down the street and Juno smiled slightly.
Her mind drew back to the argument she'd been having with herself for a while now. Nate or Fez. She loved Fez. But she still loved Nate. So Juno decided to write pros and cons for both of them.
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Juno was certain Fez didn't love her based on the interaction they shared the night she left. She was high and definitely not a good judge of character but she needed to at least work with what she had.
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There were a hell of a lot more pro's with Nate than Fez but also a hell of a lot more cons. What Juno knew with Nate was that he'd always go back to her, he'd always pick her no matter what. Whether it was with him and Maddy, or him and Cassie he would always go back to Juno.
But with Fez it was something so different, so pure. He was so good to Juno but he didn't try and help her sober up. But neither did Nate. They both let her hurt herself with the amount of drugs she took but she always went back to bed with Nate. She always went back to bed with Fez.
There was something so diverse about her love with Nate. They fought, they fucked, they were happy sometimes. Maybe what kept drawing her back to him was the fact that she loved him as a child and she can't get over it. She loved Fez a hell of a lot more than she loved Nate and she was sorry to both of them.
Instead of focusing on them right now, what she needed to do was to focus on her sobriety. So that was what she was gonna do. But first she was gonna ask her mom and dad something that'd been plaguing her mind for weeks.
"Mom! Dad! I'm home." They were both in the kitchen, Juno could hardly pluck up the courage to ask them about it. "Hey can I talk to you guys." She really wished she was on something so she could have the courage to speak to them.
"Yeah, what's up sweet daughter of mine." Clara asked, sliding a sandwich across the counter and passing it to Juno who was half thinking of not saying it.
"So uh-" She cleared her throat in fake confidence. "Cal, you know, Cal Jacobs. He told me something before I like got really high and didn't remember anything. So he gave me this," she pulled out the tiny elephant stuffed animal and put it on the counter, "then he said that as much as he loved fucking you," she looked at Clara, "he loved fucking you more. Care to explain?"
Daniel's face fell and Clara went pale. "College. We were all in college together and we were at a party and we had a threeway. That's it. That's all."
Juno nodded skeptically and backed out of the kitchen. "That's what made me get high by the way. Because I thought I was just like Nate, that I had a fuckin' gay dad, a mom who doesn't care and a stupid as fuck brother. Turns out I basically am."
