lonely lights | supernatural

three- the plan

"Pancakes, really?" He scoffed, as I cut myself a piece and felicitously spiked it. As I wanted to ate it, I still felt Michael's look on mine. That's why I waited to be able to finally eat in peace again. But as I sensed that the eternal being wasn't going to leave any time soon, I laid down my fork, again.

As I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, I felt his glance constantly shifting over my body.
  "Why are you here, Michael?"
I empathized his eyes meeting mine, looking curiously at me. He's wondering whether the time living nearby humans changed my temper or priorities.
If I was able to impress human feelings, if I was getting... sentimental, emotional.
Weak.

"I just wanted to speak to you, that's all. I haven't seen you since-" He hesitated. And I could imagine why.
The day centuries ago.
The day which changed everything.
The day of Lucifer's fall.

"Whose body are you possessing?"
Michael tilted his head. He must had a thousands questions wandering off in his head. Why the sudden interest in a vessel? In a human vessel?
Did the time in between human beings influenced her feelings after all?

"Doesn't matter, I'm here to discuss way more important things."
I sighed and swallowed. This wasn't going to become a nice and easy talk.
Was it ever, tho? I slowly got the feeling that the only time me and my siblings got to have a normal conversation at all, was when either the world was ending, or one of them was dead. Or both.

I rolled my eyes, as I mumbled teasingly: "All I wanted was a normal life- and these pancakes. And you ruined both of it." Luckily, he didn't heard me. Well, at least he didn't react to my, as I thought pretty accurate, understatement.

"Let me pay first, then we can speak in a more private place." This time, I say it out loud, to get his attention.
"Don't make yourself that trouble. I'll make it quick." I just nodded, approving to his siggestion, but still annoyed.
"Fine. I need you to calm down before I tell you this... It's about Lucifer."
My breath caught, my heart was pumping faster than ever before. I felt like my blood was cooking, raising into my head. I breathed in, and out, slowly and steady.
I needed to calm down, and heard Micheals and my father's voice from the past yelling at me. Don't show any emotions, be be glamorous, enough, worthy, perfect.

"What about him?" Surprised by my seemingly unemotional reaction, he tensed and waited a moment before keeping on.
"What's the last thing you heard from him?" I shrugged, took a sip of water, to clear my dry throat. Or to avoid this part of the conversation, which Michael is trying to aim to. It's not that I don't want to know anything about him, it's just that the last time didn't went that good for either or us.
The last thing I heard from him was that he has been captured in hell. Now, that Crowley runs the place, the demons should have had more than enough exit to come to Lucifer. And to inconceivable thing to him, that I didn't even want to picture myself.
I know I shouldn't care, after all that he did to me, but I just can't get rid of the worries about him, the guilt, if something should happen to him. I mean, after all, he's still my little brother.

"Not much. Why the sudden interest in him, brother?" I was trying not to show him how much it costs me, not to break down, showing him my lack emotional control.
Oh, what I would give just for being able to get comforted by my biggest brother, Micheal, once again. Only one more time, when father's not looking, falling into his arms, letting the tears fall. He would keep attention to the gates while hugging me, keeping me and the heaven at the same time safe.
But now is not the time to be weak, I have to force myself up, building a wall around my feelings, just shitting them down.

"So you don't know about his plans? Breaking out from hell, devastate humanity, nothing?" I looked confused up to him. What did he mean? Breaking out from hell, Lucifer?
"No- he's planning on coming on earth again? I haven't seen him in like an eternity."
"Look, we can't risk the life of so many humans just for Lucifer to get his revenge on father. He will destroy everything on his way, and you know that."

"So what should we do then? Kill him?" I scoffed. If that's what really is Micheals intention here, I'd have no more interest in listening any further. That's why I signaled, hoping for a waitress to realize it as an ask for the check.
"No, I would never ask you to do that. We just need to- send him back into hell, keeping him and the humans safe. It's for all's best, Katlyn." I felt my eyes tearing up.
"You- you can't ask me to do that, Michael. You can't ask me to send away my brother, imprisoning him in the worst place being. That's- I would betray him-"
"He doesn't need to know. All you'd have to do is sit tight and not interfering while we handle the situation. Can you do that for us?"
I took a deep breath in. My throat jammed and my heartbeat was growing faster.
"Michael- I can't..."
"It's father's will. Don't you want to make him proud, prove that you're worthy of going to heaven again and get his love? Don't you want God's love, Katlyn?"