Motivate Me , Shimon-sama ( X Reader)

Need an intro?

♡♡ Y/N's POV ♡♡

So.....where to get started?

I'm Y/N and I'm a 18 years old girl....punk to be exact.

Why? Cause I got looks like one, problem? Then go to hell.

You see.....since childhood I lived with punks...never got see who are my real parents or fuckers who forget to use condoms resulting in giving birth to me.

And somehow a nice old punk got me and raised me . I'm glad he did cause.....he and his punk buddies are my only people I can call my family......or at least I could.

2 years ago, when we all were having dinner together, suddenly one of our men started to burn in fire and became what they call an infernal....and the whole place got caught on fire. All of us were burned by the fire...even I was starting to burn hopelessly, I didn't cry for help nor did I scream....I just watched all of them pass away, how could I just live in this fucking cursed world!

Then a miracle or so called one .....cause my whole body started to go up as if the gravity failed me....my vision blurry but what I could make out of the scene were fiery violet flowers surrounding me, my skin feeling the warmth of the flowers....as if they were made out of me.

And ka-boom! Yeah...I kinda passed out,hehe.

Though later I got to know that a special fire force known as company 8 saved me that fury night.....and found me the sole survivor and naked and witness of that loss.

Shouldn't I be like remorseful or something? Cause next day, I wasn't....I was just looking at the hospital window , cursing my fellow neighbours which were the birds, aeroplanes, leaves, wind and probably the souls I couldn't see resided in that window...

Later I found out the reason of my sole survival, I was a third generation pyrokinetic.

And my power was almost like the captain of company 5, Hanabi-San. Though....my flowers didn't differ like hers nor did it even bloom fully and ..... I got thrown into the academy for those horrible 1 and a half year !!

At first it was literally eye catching greeny fire and now it's steadily royal blue .

I never got to see those violet flowers since that night.

Now...I'm one of the new recruits in Company 8 along with a knight dreamer and a devil foot.

And.....I was totally exhausted to be honest.

Killing an infernal alone is like experiencing a death call , I'm just not into it... and why?

I'm not finding anything to motivate me resulting in no progress in me.

I feel tired of it....though Cap Obi said it'll keep me out of the sadness I have....and I don't know how...I just don't feel anything.

Wanna know what I'm doing while telling my introduction?

Yeah, you guessed it.

I'm in 'matchbox' with my fellas of 8, sitting right beside the captain himself, such a cutie!!

I mean yeah, why not? He is cute when he tries to cheer me up and I simply adore his hair cut....wanna have one next time I find a barber.

" So...you feeling good, Y/N?"

" No, I'm not." Can't lie, too blunt for that.

" Just relax,Y/N. You're about to face an infernal."

" Relaxed," I cracked. " I'm totally relaxed with this chubby hot coat."

" Hm....look at me." I looked just to be kissed by him in the forehead." If you keep this posture steady, I'm kissing wherever you want. "

Am I a baby or something? And wherever I want?

"Is there any place other then forehead to relax? I don't know any, do you?"

Literally almost everyone in the matchbox blushed except Hinawa or so cause I only heard him just coughing from the driver seat.

He's only 2 years older than me though.

And we suck a lot together.

And Cap's 6 years older than me....life sucks a lot you see.

But we're like kids together....too much closer. I always tell him everything....like my heart on my sleeve for him. Nothing to be a secret to him.

He tells me pretty much everything as well.

Except for his love life and cooking recipes of course.

He's probably gonna take it to grave, hehe.

Timeskip*

" Y/N! Watch out!" Shit! I didn't see that coming!

An infernal talking to us was enough to make me so dumb that I didn't notice another one behind me.

And just when I was about spread my fiery flower around my arms, time stopped!!

My eyes widened...so did the infernal's, our distance fading and I was thrown aside just before it was going to stab it's hand right through my belly.

" What the heck, Shinra!?" Yep...he kicked me instead of the infernal to save me.

I'm done....I'm done....I'M DONE OF THIS KILLING PROCESS!
I just don't find a reason.....nor do I wanna be a hero like Shinra, nor imagine a knight like the blond pony.....what's my motivation? What's the reason of me being a third generation or a pyrokinetic?

My coat was long gone during the in the air to the ground process again.

So my peach shirt was almost tattered revealing the exact coloured innerwear and I was scared.....yeah, scared of bring revealed to this hungry world. I just started to run , run for my fucking nothing.

Infernals...Infernals are everywhere I ran, I tried to stay sane, tried to gain my power but it was like my scared posture made it harder for the flowers to effect.

" Y/N!! Calm down! It's alright! Just focus...remember what I sa-...." words of Cap fading as I lost control, blue fiery flowers falling everywhere around me drawing a circle making it blast when an infernal steps but being too weak isn't affecting the Infernal leading them to come more closer.

And here I was , at the verge of death again...death of hopelessness.

Then I got slapped in the back by a firm hand from behind , the owner of the hand shouting words I can't hear...looking around, the whole company around me fighting, sister praying.

" I'm sorr-"I was on Cap's arm and I collapsed due to lack of power and insecurity..

Again! Be my first thing to see next morning, the white ceiling of the hospital.

And after that, meet Obi beside the bed....I tried to sit up but he insisted, " Y/N, you did good but......you're too insecure you know. You shouldn't care about it if your body's shown in the fight. And you're lacking power day by day, are you feeling ok?"

" I don't know......I just don't feel what is in me? What it takes to be one of you guys....do I really have it? And about insecurities, I just don't want to , ok? No reasons needed,duh!"

" ooh...I think you need a break. I can go out with you if you ever want to." So sweet to me...

"Er...no. I'm fine, ok! I just don't feel right....I know it's to make their pain less but....does it? The ones who become it...what about their families? Don't their pledges make their pains much harder?"