So its 12:08 I decided to write this before I sleep. haha so as you may know today wasn't really tiring at first. The first moment that happened was that I wrote up really lazy for some reason. I didn't want to go to church because i didn't sleep so well. Not only that but as the morning went on I couldn't listen to music at all. So I read the qt book because i had nothing else to do so i made up two days. I still have two more but i will make it up tomorrow. Its cruel reading about offerings how these animals had to take our spots. I didn't like that whole idea and it talks about blood and stuff. Offering man I have to learn to be thankful for the cross so much. Man so it wasn't a nice morning either. I went to service a little late like always because I really suck at being at time at anything. As I worshipped I was balling out aka I was crying like a baby girl. The sermon even hit me hard not in a bad way but in a encouraging way because Pastor Danny wrote it because of all that happened to him also. He had a tough week too. So after that we prayed and sang the offering song. You know all that i have all that I am I lay them down before you O lord. Lord I offer my life etc yeah that song i was balling out again. I was just calling all day long. Then after that i told pastor kevin I'm gonna talk to pastor Danny and then go home, but didn't work like that. I talked to pastor danny and he said I am very proud of you but also told me make sure to call next time. That pastors are people that you can trust and it would have been a lot easier for you. He agreed with my decision and supported me 100%. He also hugged me and said Sam God is pleased with you. Of course I was crying again reoccurring theme anyone? lol haha. After that I decided to serve EM more so i went to bible study since I will be taking a break from JHM. I think this was a good start to really feed myself the word and gain some knowledge. I was scared at first, but it was fun being around my brothers like hansol, moses, and other people haha. After that i received your calls and I didn't pick up because I was in bible study so sorry again for making you wait. I m so bad at this sorry haha again.
So as you may know I met with you afterwards because I wanted too talk and hear from you. AGAIN those messages were from anger and frustration. It was really hard for me yesterday because I worry too too much. I just wanted to open up with you because I felt like if I kept only writing out what my heart wants to say its gonna be a trap within itself. The reason because it would have been like your old relationships only though messages. I wanted to be able to express my words in person because I didn't only want to be honest with you though a computer screen. I felt like a bad friend in general only talking behind a screen and words. Sometimes a person needs to hear some words you know. Not only that but when will be there a time like today. So as I finished up i messed up your hair even though I know you dislike it haha I just really wanted to make you smile. I know that it kinda ruined your style, but I was glad and kinda worried you were mad at me, BUT THAT THOUGHT WENT POOF ASAP! haha i was walking home and was surprised like crazy to see you coming after me. I wanted the object in my hand but I knew it was gonna be too awkward for you haha. I knew that so I let you place it into my bag. I hope you saw what I always carry no matter what? if not i will give you a clue two small boxes. Back to you showing up i don't know why, but I m always happy when your happy. I'm also very sad when your sad. I care a lot about you always. Like idk why but you seem to pop up into my head a lot so i end up either praying or worrying lol. haha but today made me so happy see you smile and us just having a good time. Just seeing you smile haha again I m just happy knowing that. Not only that but I was happy messaging you. I was SUPER HAPPY when i read that you were doing some homework and at least trying even if you didn't finish. I like fist pumped in victory in the air. I was so proud of you i wanted to type but saved it for right now. You know that weird combo of sweets you had I was very happy you went to eat. Yeah sugar isn't the best meal in the word, but just knowing your eating is a good sign to me always again it made me happy. You always asking questions also really makes me really happy for some reason. I really like your questions a lot because I really have to dig deep and it teachers who I really am at times. I m so flawed but its ok because yeah lol. You know another thing that made me happy was knowing that you asked about my problems yeah you know you can't do much but listen. That alone really encouraged me a lot. Just knowing that someone cares and understands you is really a big difference in my life. I never met another person who can put up with me for this long to be honest. I m shocked at how much you really care if only you cared about yourself the same way, but you can do that. I was just so proud of you even if you didn't do the other things you just smiling made me happy knowing you just smiled. I sound like a baka saying that but yeah i m just happy knowing you just smiled even if it was for like 2 seconds would make my day lol. So thats what I wanted to write but before I leave the reason this took so long to type up was because I did some quote research. haha i never even search up anything for my homework and projects. As I was reading these quotes I hope and Pray they help you =).
These are some of them today, but I have more tomorrow lol
“Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”
― C.S. Lewis
“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”
― Albert Camus
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
― H. Jackson Brown Jr.
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.”
― Martin Luther King Jr, A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings and Speeches
“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Apple Inc.
“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
― André Gide, Autumn Leaves
haha I hope these encouraged you a little bit again I don't research a lot but I hope these can help you with your school day if you fell asleep. I hope your sleeping and if not its ok. haha I hope you can sleep after this. Good night and Sweet dreams or Good Morning either way I win in both cases haha =).
From Samuel Yum learning a little more each day, but the battle starts with myself. Quote myself LOL! haha a Samuel Yum special WOW I SPIT FIRE! haha for the kingdom. Also your doing good yeah yeah your gonna be emotional its ok =). just be yourself ;) Time to pray and sleep. thank you Nayoung =) for making me smile today.
