Reserved Feelings (Spain x Shy! Abused! Reader)

Prologue

Reserved Feelings (Spain x Shy!Abused!Reader) 

A.N: Everything in here is fiction! Also, if you don't like it, then don't read it. Some people might find it depressing but some may find it sweet. Anyway~! When in doubt, just shut your mouth. So no mean comments please! 

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Ever since you turned 10, your world had changed. Your parents had gotten a divorce after your dad found out about your mom's affair. Although the man she had an affair with was abusive, your mom still let him live in the same house with you, because she thought you were lying. That was 7 years ago. 

Things had gotten worse at home. When you were 12, you vowed never to tell anyone about your problems, no matter how bad things got. No matter how close you became with someone, you still wouldn't tell  them. If anything that just motivated you more to keep it from them. You wanted to see your friends smiling and happy all of the time. You knew that your home-life was depressing, and you didn't want them to feel sorry for you, or to burden themselves on your behalf.

To completely stomp out the feeling of wanting to share your problems, you completely isolated yourself from everyone else. You plastered a smile onto your face, and you never let your guard down. You built walls that prevented anyone from seeing the real you. The one that was aching to be saved. To be free from your life that, to you, was a living hell.

As the years went by, your friends stopped asking how things were at home. In fact, quite a few of them had stopped being friends with you. There was only one person who kept trying to be friends, who kept smiling as though he didnt notice your willingness to be alone, with those green eyes, and that short, messy, brown hair. 

Although Antonio Fernandez Carriedo was the most popular guy in school and was constantly occupied with his friends, Gilbert and Francis,  he still made time for you. You loved his smile, and you were determined to keep it from fading away. So you never brought up anything bad. After a while, you developed a crush on him. The more you got to know him, the more in-love you had become. Although it wasn't that way when you first met him. In fact, you had been really annoyed with him.

You had hated the way his eyes had seemed to know more about you than even you did. The way they seemed to look right into your soul. It scared you. Now, 17-year-old you loved him, but you kept even those feelings to yourself. You knew that even if he returned your feelings, that you would have to cut off the relationship. You just couldn't bear to let him see through your mask. Not because you had pride, but because of that smile. The one that drowned your fears in a matter of seconds, and made the cold loneliness go away, warmth replacing it. You wanted to protect it, even if that meant that you had to suffer. 

The present-day you wore nothing but pants, T-shirts and jackets. Usually to hide the scars and bruises that your step-father had inflicted upon you. Your mother never listened to you. She thought that the terrible things he had done to you were 'stories'. You wore this attire, even in summer. As long as no one figured your secret out, you were fine doing whatever you had to to keep it that way. Even if you got hurt in the process, you didn't care. You would do anything to keep that smile from disappearing. That smile, that kept you alive.