Reserved Feelings (Spain x Shy! Abused! Reader)

Nothing's Wrong

Reserved Feelings (Spain x Shy!Abused!Reader) 1

Chica - Girl
mi tomate- my tomato
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"Hey! (Y/N)!" He called out to you. You loved the sound of his voice. Just hearing it made the pain go away. You spun around, putting on your usual fake smile- although you would've been lying if you said that seeing him didn't bring you a bit of happiness. 

"Hey Antonio!" You said brightly, your (e/c) eyes dull, yet at the same time sparkling. He smiled at you and picked up a strand of your hair. 

"Chica, didn't I tell you that you can call me Toni?" He said. You never mistook his actions for something special. That was just the way he was. He was more hands-on when greeting people, and even more so when it came to friends. You smiled.

 "Well then, TONI, what's up?" You said, turning back around with your (h/l), (h/c) hair swaying as you did so, getting ready to continue walking home. 

'Home.....' You thought, getting a dreading feeling in the pit of your stomach. You looked down, not wanting to hint to your friend that anything was wrong. His smile would have faded, and you didn't want that.

"Well, I finally got away from the crowd of people that you like to call my 'fans' so I figured I would walk home with you~!" He said, smiling.  'No.....y-you can't.....' You thought. It would have  been bad for him to walk you there. You thought about it for a second and figured that you could just make him go back a block or so from your house.' Then... Then he wouldn't get hurt.....' You thought. You bit your lip before looking up with your fake smile again

 "Okay! That'd be great, Antonio!" You said.

He rolled his eyes, "TONI."  

You stuck your tongue out at him, "Whatever, Mr. Popularity."

"What's up with that, chica?" He asked while tilting his head. You rolled  your eyes. 

"You know you're practically famous, right? With that accent of yours, those amazing green eyes, and that messy, brown hair, I'm pretty sure you were named 'The King of Sexiness' at the beginning of the year. Mostly because no one knew your name. Besides, you also get the highest scores out of everyone on our standardized tests." You explained. He looked at you, eyes wide.

"(Y/N)..... Really? That can't be true because you're following not too far behind in your scores, if I'm not mistaken..... And you're really pretty!" He said. You froze in the middle of the road, and looked down at your clothes for emphasis.

 "I'm sorry, I thought I heard you say 'pretty'?" You said, your eyes wide and disbelieving. You were wearing a grey T-Shirt with faded blue skinny jeans and a navy blue hoodie, hiding your curves effectively. Your beautiful (h/c) hair was up in a messy pony tail, and your black converse shoes didn't necessarily go with the rest of your outfit. You coughed. Antonio looked you up and down quickly, and then nodded.

 "Maybe, if you took off this jacket...." He said, reaching for your jacket and was about to tug it off. You flinched away from him.
 "DON'T DO THAT!!!" You yelled, eyes squeezed shut, knowing what he would see if he were to take it off. You covered your mouth. Silence was the only thing that you heard. And that was one of the things that you feared most.

~~Our Favorite Spaniard's POV~~

I looked at (Y/N). Her face was downcast and her hand covered her mouth. I knew she was hiding it from me desperately. She didn't know that I could tell that her every smile was a lie. Her hand was shaking, and I felt the urge to grab it, to tell her that it was okay but.... Somehow I couldn't bring myself to do it....

".....(Y/N)....?" I said as gently as possible. Her head jumped up and she immediately forced herself to smile.

 "I-I'm sorry, Toni, I-I-It's just cold out here....." She tried to lie. I looked at her with a doubtful expression. 

"(Y/N), it's 87 degrees out here......" I said. Her smile faltered.

 "W-Well.....it's cold to me....." She said, and immediately resumed smiling. She began walking down her road again, and I wondered why she hid it from me like that. She chose not to open up and let her worries out. I wondered why she wouldn't tell me what was underneath that jacket she always wore. I doubted it was anything I would have wanted to see but..... Didn't she trust me enough to let me know when something was bothering her? I knew that it was selfish, coming from my one-sided love.... But I wished she would tell me everything that went through her head. I wanted to know everything about her....but it was as if she wouldn't let me. It was like I couldn't get close to her, no matter how hard I tried. I loved her, more than she would ever know.

(Y/N) and I had known each other for a while. Ever since she was 12 and I had just turned 13. I had always wondered about that chica. She had seemed bright and cheerful, although there were days when she would come in and I could tell that something was going on. But still, mi tomate would simply put on a gentle smile, as if everything was okay, when it was clear that it wasn't. I had always admired her for that. How she could stay strong in the midst of a tornado, danger flooding her life, but still she smiled and walked on as if nothing had happened. I could never do that. I was always the first to let my feelings out, constantly trying to seek help for my problems. Being Spain, there weren't many that I could talk to.

I decided to become better friends with her, to try and figure out how she did it. It wasn't just for that reason though. She always looked so lonely when her friends ignored her. She looked as if she were trying to convey something to them, as if she was trying to get them to see that she was doing something for them, but still, she smiled and kept her lips closed. When I had first talked to her, she didn't seem very thrilled. In fact, she looked annoyed. None-the-less, I still continued to talk to her, getting to know her a little more as the days passed by. She seemed to have warmed up to me, but she never told me about any of her problems. Lately, there had been something off about her. I had caught her looking at me, although she had become more distant towards me, as though she had realized something had happened between us.

"Chica, what's wrong? You seem.... Out of it..... And I don't know......" I trailed off. It's hard to tell someone that you think that they are becoming cold towards you. It's even harder to tell them that you love them and that you want to hear what's wrong. And that whatever IS wrong can be fixed if they would just tell you.

~~~~Your Lovely Self's POV~~~~

You stopped cold in your tracks. 'H-How does he know?!' You mentally exclaimed. This was exactly why you had been avoiding him, although your eyes had a different idea... You knew he would figure it out sooner or later.....

"W-What do you mean, Toni? Nothing's wrong." You said, your voice faltering, you not daring to turn around and look at him. You heard his footsteps come near you, and tried to move away but it was too late. He gripped your arm and turned you around, using the curve of his index finger to tilt your head up and force you to look him in the eyes.

"(Y/N), tell me to my face that nothing is wrong and I'll believe you." He said, his green eyes looking straight into yours. You took your head away from his hand and looked down, trying to compose yourself. You looked back up. 

"Nothing's wrong." You said. You smiled for the next part. "Don't worry about me, okay? I'm fine. Your happiness matters more to me, and I don't want to see that gorgeous, amazing smile go away, okay? You're way more important to me than anything else in this world..." You said. Immediately, you knew you had said too much. You felt your smile slip away and your head look down in embarrassment. Your cheeks were bright red. You suddenly spun around and began to run to your house. 'I can't believe I let that slip out! I'm such an idiot! Like I actually think that my words will be of some use to him! I knew I shouldn't have let him walk me home today!!!!' You thought.

"(Y-Y/N)!!!" You heard his voice calling you to come back, but you kept running. Tears began to leak out of your eyes, tears that you had promised yourself that you wouldn't let out ever again. You wiped at them furiously but still they simply kept coming. 

As you reached your house, you finally slowed to a walk. You stood outside of the door, leaning against the wall, wiping away the tears. You checked your appearance in the reflection of your phone, to see if there were any traces of tears or puffiness around your eyes. You took a deep breath, and opened the the door.