June Bloom

Chapter 12

Ms. Alice was caught off guard. She definitely did not see that question coming. "Anong ibig mong sabihin, apo? Sa tingin ko naman ay oo. Ako, bilang isang babae, mahal kita. Diba isa ka rin namang babae?" She asked. June couldn't help but smile. "Mahal din po kita, Ms. Alice, pero hindi po yun ang ibig ko sabihin. Ang gusto ko pong tanungin ay yung kung pwede ho bang mag-mahal ang isang babae tulad dapat ng pagmamahal nya para sa isang lalaki na makakasama nya habang buhay?" She elaborated for her. The question shocked Ms. Alice. She has never heard of a love between the same sex. "Wala yata yan sa Biblia, apo," she told her. June frowned. "Ibig ho ba sabihin nun nagkakasala ang dalawang babae kung sila po ay nagmamahalan gaya ng pag-mamahalan ng babae't lalaki?" She asked. June's questions made Ms. Alice worry. "Saan mo ba nakukuha yang mga tanong mo, apo?" She couldn't help but ask. "Wala lang ho. Naisip ko lang po," June replied. It made her think twice whether she should have opened up about things like that to Ms. Alice. The elderly woman stared at the youngster for a while. She knew children wouldn't ask unless they saw something or are experiencing the matter themselves. "Nagmamahal ka ba ng babae, apo?" Ms. Alice asked. June gasped. "Hindi ho, Ms. Alice," she immediately shook her head. She regretted the way she reacted because her reaction seemed like she was being defensive. "Gusto mo bang makausap si Ms. Valencia?" Ms. Alice offered. This scared June even more. If Ms. Alice were to tell on her, that would probably give out that she knew something was going on between the head of the orphanage she used to live in and her English teacher. "Hindi naman na ho kelangan," she tried to act as calmly as possible. "Natanong ko lang po," she repeated. "Hindi naman kasi nag-tatanong ang mga batang katulad mo kung hindi nyo yan pinagdadaanan, nababasa, nakikita, o minsan napapanood," Ms. Alice explained. "Hindi naman basta-basta lang naiisip ang mga bagay na yan, apo," she added. "Medyo ganun ho kasi ako, Ms. Alice. Ano-ano na lang po yung pumapasok sa utak ko paminsan. Pasensya na ho kung na-offend ho kita at ang pananampalataya mo," June said. Her apology was sincere. Ms. Alice was convinced, but she held June's hand. "Ito lang ang masasabi ko sayo, apo. Magsabi man ng kung ano-anong nakaka-sakit na salita ang mga tao sayo na pwedeng makasira na pananampalataya mo, 'wag mong hahayaan yun. Kahit ano ang gawin at sabihin ng ibang tao, responsibilidad natin ang kanya-kanya nating gawain. Sa huli, ang Diyos lang ang may karapatang mang-husga."

Hours later, her conversation with Ms. Alice never left June's mind as she laid wide awake in bed. Could it be possible for a woman to be in love with another woman? Was this a sin? If it was, would Ms. Valencia and Ms. Tamayo go to hell for it? How could someone go to hell because of love?

She closed her eyes and turned to face the wall. She thought about what Ms. Alice said. She thought long and hard before her mind finally allowed her to get some sleep.

The next day, she carried the weight of their conversation throughout her time in school. "Psst," a familiar voice called out to her from behind. "Hindi ka na talaga namamansin ha. Talagang kinalimutan mo nako." June quickly turned around. "Dez," her eyes lit up. Dezmond smiled cheekily. June wondered how deep his dimples really were. "Hindi ah, hindi lang kita nakita dyan," she denied. Then she came up to him. "O, ingat ka, baka makita tayo ni Ms. Tamayo," he warned her. "Wala naman tayong masamang ginagawa ah. Nag-uusap lang naman tayo," June said defensively. Dezmond chuckled a little. "I'm just teasing you. Kamusta ka na? I miss you." He didn't hesitate to tell her. "Okay lang naman," she smiled. "Did you miss me?" He teased again. "Sus," was all that came out of her, but the truth was that she missed him, too. "How have you been?" He asked. "Parang ang tagal na nating hindi nagkikita ah," she teased him this time. "It seemed ages ago," he admitted. "Okay lang naman ako, ikaw ba? Kamusta ka naman?" She asked back. He sighed. "Bored out of my mind. I miss hanging out with you. I miss selling tapa with you. Life has been—well, I guess the same," he told her. "Ah," she nodded. "You seemed like you were in deep thought again kanina. Maybe that's why you didn't notice me. Ang hirap magpa-cute sa tabi kung yung dadaan wala namang pake," he joked. "Hindi naman. Eto naman. Sobra naman yung walang pake. Eh baka tama ka lang. Ang dami ko lang siguro talagang iniisip kaya hindi kita napansin o sadyang kinulang ka lang sa pagpapa-cute kaya hindi kita napansin," she joked this time. "Wow, you got game pala ha," he was definitely challenged. The two of them laughed. "Ikaw kasi eh. Ang lakas mo mang-asar palagi," she told him. "Sarap mo kasi asarin. Parang hindi na nga kumpleto yung araw ko pag hindi kita inaasar eh. Lungkot tuloy lately," he admitted. "Awww," she said. "Wala naman sigurong masama kung magkikita pa din tayo. Usap-usap," he suggested. "Hindi ko alam, Dez. Umiiwas lang ako sa gulo ngayon, alam mo na ma—" she was saying when a fight started in front of them out of nowhere.