My Unrequited Love

Sometimes it's better if you don't express your love. Sometimes it's better if you enjoy the silence of being imaginative. Sometimes it's better being in the state of observing because not all people are expressive in every way possible. They might not always have that courage to speak out something that is essential, but that's life; you just cannot always do whatever you want. Sometimes it's just better to let go everything and breathe. This all rewind in my brain when I saw Ishaan after 9 years and still that smile glittered his face and that attractive nature of him.

The batch of 2020 was invited to the reunion ceremony. It was also the school's golden jubilee year. I flew back from America to be present in that ceremony. My love for the school was inexpressible. It had taught me life lessons when I was a teenager and I just can't repay it by any means. My mom was actually happy because I am coming home after 2 years and it was a big range of time for her. I entered the school premises in around 4 in the afternoon. The school has transformed to a global institution. It now had world class facilities for students, teachers as well as parents. I saw some of my boys roaming around in the garden. I ran to them and hugged them from behind. It was 7 years I haven't met them. They were a bit angry with me in the beginning but gradually they blew out their anger. I saw my girls had also transformed to young ladies. They were like just pretty as hell. Among the boys I saw a young man in specs clattering in a voice that I have known. I went near him and said, 'Hi! You are Ishaan, right?'

'Hallow! Yes, I am'. My heartbeat fastened, I felt like Goosebumps over my body; but thankfully I had shaved, he couldn't see anything.

He said, 'It's been so long haven't seen you. How's life?'

'Oh! It's just fine. I just landed here yesterday. You seemed to have transformed.'

'Oh! Yeah, I grew a little beard and specs with some formal clothes.'

'You look totally different from the Ishaan I knew'

'Even you too! You just became a US girl'

'Ha-ha!' I responded with little laughter. My mind just reeled those memories that we all shared in the past. Truly, school phase of anybody's life is always very special with memories and they all teach us very important life lessons. I remember those creative sessions, those celebrations we together celebrated in school. It was really a great time together we had.

But today I just felt another level of happiness and relaxation. I know the cause for it. It was the happiness of a prolonged wish of seeing him. Even after I went out Assam. I travelled the world. I spent time studying in Bangalore, New Delhi and even abroad in New York City. I travelled the world for trips and projects. I met so many different types of people but I just still couldn't forget him. He was someone very special to me but don't ask me the reason. Some feelings are cannot be explained. He was just the first crush maybe or I could say the perfect person I wanted. But at another level I knew, he didn't want me in his life. But he was on his own, or maybe someone else was for him. I just couldn't share these with anyone. This was a feeling on its own, someway very different than anything else that anyone had ever came across.

I still remember that day when I first saw him. A boy with a gentle, calming face with a smile and holding hand of his mother, standing beside the door. The teacher gracefully welcomed him as a part of the class. He was quite confused where to actually sit because that was a completely different environment for him. He waved back to his mother and sat in the left front bench with the fellow classmates. They jumped near him to start a new conversation. Questions like, 'what is your name?', 'where are you from?' aroused. I heard the girls murmuring, 'One more boy? This is too much, we need girls too!' and a few murmurings, 'hey he is quite good looking, no?' and replies to it was like, 'Haw! You love him?' and went on. Our teacher introduced him to the class, 'Class, meet your new friend! His name is Ishaan Dutta. You guys should have a good time with him!' All the people gathered him to have a conversation with him. I bet he might have felt like a celebrity surrounded by paparazzi.