Hi mum
I've been doing pretty good lately
I know you called me yesterday
And we talked for 15 minutes
More than we usually do
But I feel like I told you nothing
Like I usually do
So I'll tell you now
The time I went to London
To see my friend
And to collect everything I had
In my room last year
I managed to fit it all into one suitcase
All of my life can fit into one suitcase
I couldn't stop thinking about it mum
On the way home
I can pack all of my life
Into one suitcase in 10 minutes
And leave
Maybe that's the reason why
It was always so easy for me to move
Maybe that's the reason why
I can't stay in one place for more than a year
Because I don't have to leave anything behind
Except for people
In London
We went to the bar
And then to the hill
In Camden town
Overlooking half of the city
I talked about you
I talk about you a lot
I don't think you know that
It's been a few weeks now
Since I started this
Yesterday I got high with Tommy
And I realised that I had never seen him genuinely laugh
He laughs a lot
But I don't think it's real
He has sad eyes
Just like you do mum
Whenever you look at me
Whenever you try to be closer to me
I'm not ready for your closure
I don't know when I will be
Life is so short
I'm scared I won't be able to fix myself in time
I'm scared you will never know how much you mean to me
I'm scared you don't know that I love you
I love you mum
I wish I could say it out loud
