Noxious

47 | don't think

Rowan 

Was I dead? 

I felt like I didn't belong in my body. My subconscious was awake but I wasn't. I heard things around me, wavering and distant, as it sounded like I was under more than a hundred feet of water. Nothing really made sense. There was just an abyss of darkness that kept me subdued. 

All I could hear was the silence. 

It buzzed in my ears like a thousand bees until it grew so loud that I felt like my head would explode. Shadows were spinning around me and I swayed with them as if felt like I was falling. I didn't even know where I was until everything suddenly stopped.  

And that's when I woke up. 

My eyes flew open, followed by a painful, choking gasp. 

Immediately, the fluorescent lights above me were too blinding. I closed my eyes, breathing in and out, and then I opened them again. I saw white tiles on the ceiling and then my eyes drifted to the noise beside me. A heart monitor. 

It spiked when I realized I was in a hospital. 

My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to move. I felt like I had been laying in the same position for ages, my body was stiff and cemented in place. I managed to shift my upper torso and then I sucked in a sharp breath, freezing. 

My entire left shoulder was sore and it hurt to move. Even the tiniest of movements sent fire down my arm and left side of my ribcage. I chose to lay as still as the dead until the pain subdued a little. 

Then, I lifted my right hand and gently prodded beneath the thin hospital gown. I felt the thick gauze covering my bullet wound and then I winced before withdrawing my hand. At least I remembered being shot. 

That was all I remembered, though. 

I realized that my left arm felt stiff and I glanced down to find a blue cast enclosing my arm. I had broken my arm? 

Abruptly, my eyes flew to the door of my hospital room as it opened. A nurse in light blue scrubs walked in. 

"Hi, Rowan, how are you feeling?" She noticed I was awake and stopped at my bedside with a comforting smile, "Are you in pain?" 

I swallowed and nodded. I wasn't sure where my voice was yet. Was I in shock? I knew I wasn't paralyzed because I could feel my toes and I had lifted my hand. 

"Okay, I'm going to give you a little morphine," She explained gently. She examined my vitals, which were displayed on the monitor that kept monotonously beeping beside me, and then she reached for the IV port attached to my arm,  "This will help you with the pain. Is there anything else I can get you?" 

I shook my head. She injected something into my bloodstream through the IV port and within seconds, I felt warmth flooding through me. The pain instantly faded. I exhaled in relief. 

"I will send Dr. Thandler in," She smiled warmly, and then she quietly left my room. I watched her go, I had so many questions to ask, but she seemingly wanted the doctor to answer them. I supposed I could wait. 

Although I didn't have to. 

Within seconds of her leaving, the door opened again. 

Dr. Thandler entered and I felt like I had been slapped in the face with the worst kind of deja vu. The last time I had been in a hospital and Dr. Thandler was there... it had been for Milo. Those memories were vivid in my mind.